An Irish Lullaby
by MissKitieFantastico
Summary: =FINAL CH. NOW UP 5/23--EPILOGUE ON THE WAY!= After losing Connor to another dimension, the gang reunites to find him. (Post-Sleep Tight & AU) =Two-Author Collaboration=
1. Prologue

Before we get into the story, just want to let you know that this fic was posted as a stand alone, but Tigerwolf figured it would also double as a great Prologue to our story so I left all her original disclaimers and stuff.  
  
-MissKitieFantastico  
  
NOW ON WITH THE SHOW!  
  
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Disclaimer:Nothing in here is mine. I wish, I wish they were, but nope.  
  
Summary:My take on Angel's thought's in the hours following "Sleep Tight".  
  
Spoilers: Anything between "Lullaby" and "Sleep Tight".  
  
Author's Notes: I actually couldn't sleep last night thinking about poor Angel. I had to do something. I'm sure there will be alot of fanfics that try to bring Connor back, but this isn't one of them. Don't get me wrong, I miss the little guy too, I just think we should deal with our loss and attempt to move on.  
  
Author's Notes 2: Just to get my thought's out there, I believe the prophesy "The Father Will Kill The Son" actually was fulfilled. When Angel told Holtz to take Connor, he was effectivly signing over his parental rights and making Holtz the father. So when Holtz jumped into the portal, the father did kill the son. Wesley jumped to the wrong conclusion.  
  
Title: I Can't...  
  
Author: Tigerwolf  
  
  
  
I Can't...  
  
by: Tigerwolf  
  
  
  
"...connor..."  
  
I'm lying where I fell two hours ago. I can't move. I just keep seeing his sweet little face. So innocent, so trusting, so loving. He can't be gone. I'm having a nightmare. If I stay here long enough, I'll wake up and he'll be back in his crib, next to my bed. I'll wake up. I will wake up. I can't. It's not a dream, it's real. He's gone. My son is gone before he even had a chance to live. I can't move. I can't.  
  
I'm in the car. I don't know how Fred and Gunn found me, and I don't care. I can't. Every part of me that was still capable of love and caring is dead. I don't have to breathe. I can't. Can't breathe, can't think, can't stop crying. I'm howling now, shaking wildly. I can't stop. I can't. Gunn pulls the car over and Fred climbs into the back seat with me. She's rubbing my back, whispering that it will be okay, but she's wrong. Nothing will ever be okay again. It can't be. I can't breathe. I can't.  
  
Hotel. Not home, not now. It's not home without Connor. I can't walk. Gunn and Fred half drag, half carry me inside. I make no move to help them. I can't. I see the crib, Connor's crib, in the foyer. The tears start anew. I am deposited on the couch and Fred sits next to me, she's still talking but I don't hear her. I can't. Gunn is in the office, talking to Lorne. I try to focus on what's being said. Something about Wesley and the hospital. I tune it out. I won't focus. I can't.  
  
My bed. My new room. Fred left reluctantly when I was able to tell her that I wanted to be left alone. I have Connor's teddy bear clutched to my chest. It smells like him. It's all I have left. I try to sleep. I can't.  
  
Still in the room, still on the bed, still crying. Fred came in a few minutes ago with a glass of blood. She tried to get me to drink, but I didn't. I can't. She left it on the nightstand, just in case. Can't eat. Maybe I'll just stop feeding completely. Starving to death can't be much worse than this living Hell that I'm in without Connor. Oh, Connor. I hope you went quickly. I hope you didn't suffer. I should have jumped in, not you. Never you. I want to change it. I can't.  
  
Basement. Training room. Beating the shit out of a punching bag. Punch. That's for Holtz. Punch. That's for Wesley. Punch. That's for Darla. PUNCHKICKPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHKICKKICKKICK! SLAM! And that's for everything that's ever hurt me. I broke the chain holding the bag to the ceiling. My knuckles are bloody, my whole body is sore from that shock I got from the portal. I don't care. I can't.  
  
Cordelia is coming home today. She doesn't know yet. So many things she doesn't know. So many things I'll never tell her. Not now, not ever. I can't.  
  
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Hi it's me MissKitie again,  
  
Before I forget I just wanted to say… Feedback is always of the good. Don't hesitate to click on the little box that says 'Review' at the bottom of your screen. =) We appreciate it. 


	2. There's No Place Like Home

Title: An Irish Lullaby  
  
Authors: MissKitieFantastico (kitiekat24@go.com) & Tigerwolf (Tigerwolf_2@msn.com)  
  
Summary: Cordy comes home from vacationing with Groo to find that everything has fallen apart.  
  
Timeline: Set after 'Sleep Tight'. Probably something like the day after.  
  
Pairing: Wouldn't you like to know… Heh, C/A angst & F/G  
  
Rating: I dunno. Pick one. PG-13 maybe?  
  
Disclaimer: We own nothing in the Angelverse. If we did, we'd be pretty rich by now, and wouldn't be writing fanfic. This would actually be happening on the show, and Groo would be very dead.  
  
Distribution: Want. Take. Have. Just let us know where, we want bragging rights.  
  
Spoilers: You know, that big one from 'Sleep Tight' and probably everything that lead up to it… Don't read if you don't want to be spoiled.  
  
Feedback: Yes please. It calms the angry puppy. Remember, kitties don't like puppies, especially angry one's.  
  
A/N: This is a first, hopefully of many, collaborations between myself & Tigerwolf. All Cordy POV's were written by me, and all Angel POV's were written by Tigerwolf.  
  
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Chapter One  
  
There's No Place Like Home  
  
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"Princess, are you alright?"  
  
I turn to Groo as we walk towards the Hyperion. My mind has been way out in left field all day. Something's wrong, I can feel it in the air, but I didn't think I was so obvious that he'd notice. I've come to realize he isn't the most receptive man, much like one brooding vampire I've come to know and love.  
  
"Yeah, I'm just anxious to see everyone. I guess I sorta missed them." I smile at him to reassure him that that was all I was thinking about. He bought it of course. He just smiles back at me as we make our way through the courtyard.  
  
I stop right next to the dried up fountain for no sane persons' reason. I don't want to go inside yet and I don't know why. Groo didn't see me stop, but notices about ten feet in front of me, and turns around. I glance at the shrubbery and dead flowers. Someone should really start to keep these up, a garden should be full of life, not death. I shiver at the thought, and wrap my arms around myself but I know I'm not cold. Not on the outside at least. But somewhere else, it feels like something's missing inside me and I don't know what. It's been like this since last night, the feeling just won't go away.  
  
Groo starts to say something, but I smile and his face lightens immediately. It seems like that's all I ever have to do with him is smile and it makes everything ok. It actually makes me mad that he doesn't understand me. I'm so used to never being able to get away with my own thoughts. Angel just always seems to notice when I'm thinking. A smile used to work on him, but now I can never get away with it. Ninety percent of the time he doesn't know what's wrong, but at least he notices.  
  
My arms still wrapped around me, I start for the doors again but get the urge to look up to the sky. I have my sunglasses on, but it's still so bright that I bring my hand up to cut the glare. The sky is a brilliant blue, not the normal smoggy blue-brown that LA has become famous for. No clouds in sight, not even fluffy white ones to contrast the blueness of it, and the sun is out with full force. For some reason I think it's wrong that the sun is shining so bright today, even though it feels good on my newly tanned skin.  
  
Groo holds the door open for me for the millionth time in two weeks, and now I'm starting to get annoyed with it. I'm perfectly capable of opening my own doors thank-you-very-much.  
  
I'm taking off my sunglasses as I walk into the lobby, but a cheery hello is cut off before I even open my mouth. Whatever half smile I had plastered to my face falls in a millisecond as I take in the appearance of the lobby.  
  
To say 'disarray'--which I'd never actually say anyway--is an understatement. To be blunt, the lobby was trashed. Books everywhere, blood on the wall by the counter, the weapons cabinet is once again broken. It looked like World War III was staged right inside these walls.  
  
"Oh my god…" I manage to choke out those few words, as panic starts to make my heart pound in my chest and my knees go weak.  
  
"What has happened here?" I see Groo move off behind the counter to inspect something, but I don't notice him after that.  
  
My mind starts racing with my worst fears, and I try to get my feet to move. Yeah, right. I can't even feel my fingers let alone try to move. Oh god, Angel. What about Connor? Fred? Gunn? Wes? There isn't a single sign of life in here. Oh, god. Stop! Stop thinking like that, they've got to be ok. I would've known if they weren't. I'm barely able to contain my tears as two figures appear on the landing upstairs.  
  
My heart lifts as they come out of the shadows.  
  
Finally I can move, and I rush forward to meet them at the foot of the stairs. "I know you guys wanted to redecorate, but this is just ridiculous! What did you do to the place?"  
  
Fred raises her head, and I notice her face. She's been crying. My gaze moves to Gunn, but he averts his eyes. It almost looks like he's been crying too. Now I notice the fact that Fred isn't even standing on her own, Gunn is practically holding her upright.  
  
"Oh, no. What happened?" My voice catches in my throat and my mouth goes dry. It feels like an eternity while I'm waiting for them to say something.  
  
Why won't they say anything?  
  
I can feel my heart practically trying to jump out of my chest again, and I'm trying really hard to keep breathing.  
  
"Where's Angel?… Where's Wes?"  
  
Fred flinches when I say Wes' name, and my worst fear has just manifested itself. "Gunn? What happened… Would someone please tell me what happened!" I practically scream at him and my vision goes all blurry.  
  
No, Chase, don't cry.  
  
"Wes… He… We found him… There was so much blood… I didn't think he could've… because of all the blood…" My eyes dart to Fred. She's not even speaking in complete sentences and she looks like she's about to fall apart.  
  
"What? Blood?" My mind starts racing, and I want her to just spill it, but the new Cordy refrains from shaking it out of her.  
  
So I just stand there.  
  
Finally Gunn speaks up after realizing that Fred just can't quite say whatever it is.  
  
"Wes is in the hospital. Justine… She slit his throat. But we found him and took him to the hospital."  
  
I may be dense but I know I see a flash of anger in his eyes when he says his name. Then the rest of what he said finally sinks in. I feel my knees go weak, and I manage to back myself to the couch and sit down.  
  
"Is he…?"  
  
"He's in critical condition. He lost a lot of blood, but they think he'll make it."  
  
I ignore the coldness of his voice as I try to blink away my tears to see, and I feel them slide down my cheeks, and I sigh in relief. Thank god he's not… I can't even say it in my head.  
  
I see Fred now that my vision isn't blurry and now more than ever she looks like she's about to crack. She catches my gaze for a split second before lowering her head again, and her long brown hair falls in her face.  
  
"But he's ok, right? We're ok, right? No one else got hurt…. Right?" I keep saying that to try to convince myself that everything's ok, but the look on their faces shows quite the opposite.  
  
"I… I can't do this!" Fred's voice comes out like a screech and she rips herself from Gunn before bolting upstairs and I can hear her sobs until a door slams shut.  
  
Realization hits me now, and I'm trying to keep myself from falling apart after seeing Fred freak out. Obviously something else is going on here. I open my mouth a few times before I find my voice. Since when have words ever evaded me before?  
  
"Where's Angel?"  
  
So much for finding my voice.  
  
All that came out was a whisper.  
  
I look at his face and he flinches when I say his name. I was so quiet I almost didn't think he heard me, but that flinch told me otherwise. "Where's Connor?" Now I found my voice, it came out louder than I'd anticipated but this whole secretive thing is starting to freak me out. Give me demons and scary hell dimensions any day, but this is pure torture.  
  
"He's upstairs. In your room. His kinda exploded."  
  
"Why?" I get to my feet and move towards him now, a bit relieved that Angel's ok. But I still want to know what the hell happened. The lobby is trashed, Wes is in the hospital, Angel's room exploded. This is what happens when I leave them alone.  
  
All I get from my simple one-syllable question is silence. It's much too quiet in here and I'm equal parts freaked out and peeved. Believe me, the silence is most definitely not helping, in fact it's making it worse.  
  
To top it off, I feel like an idiot just standing in the middle of the lobby, waiting for him to fill me in. But he doesn't say anything.  
  
Ok, this is bullshit! Oh boy, now I'm no longer peeved but I'm angry. He won't answer me and my patience wore thin about 2 minutes ago. I stare Gunn down but once again he does the averted gaze thing, so I push past him and stomp my way upstairs. All fear aside, I'm ready for some serious ass kicking if I don't get some answers about what happened while I was gone.  
  
I make my way to the room in less than a second, but I stop before putting my hand on the knob. I have a feeling I'm really not going to like what's on the other side of that door. But I have to know, so I puff up my chest, taking in much needed oxygen, and open the door without knocking.  
  
As I step into my room, my jaw drops. The place is a disaster. It looks even worse than the lobby did. What the hell did he do to my room?!  
  
"What the hell did he do to my room?" I whisper, as I scan what used to be a rather lavishly decorated hotel room. Now I find a knocked over lamp, glass on the floor, and on my left-- the shredded upholstery from a very expensive sofa that I used to love. And, oh look, there's the rest of the sofa-- on the other side of the room!  
  
I used to love that thing, granted I didn't pay for it, but still…  
  
The back of the room is cloaked in darkness, the only light being from one of the lamps on the floor. I can't make out my bed but I know he's there. I can feel him. Weird huh? Don't know when that happened.  
  
So I bend down and turn an endtable upright before placing the lamp on it. Now I can somewhat see my bed, and yup, he's there. He's lying on the bed, curled up like a little boy. I move to him.  
  
His eyes are closed and he doesn't stir when I sit on the edge of the bed and place my hand, which is shaking like mad, on his arm. I knew I wasn't going to like this. Any trace of my anger is gone when I look at his face, and I know that when he wakes up I'm really not going to like what he has to say.  
  
"Angel?" 


	3. Disturbing Revelations

Disclaimer, Summary, ect.: MissKitieFantastico summed all that up in her chapter.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first part of this story, so I'm gonna do my best. We aren't even sure where this is going, so please bear with us.  
  
Title: An Irish Lullaby  
  
Authors: MissKitieFantastico & Tigerwolf  
  
  
  
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Chapter2  
  
Disturbing Revelations  
  
==++==++==++==++==++  
  
  
  
"Angel?"  
  
I felt her before she touched me. I think I even knew when her taxi drove up. Still, I keep my eyes closed. A futile attempt to delay the inevitable. Maybe she'll think I'm asleep and leave.  
  
"Angel, wake up. What happened?"  
  
I don't move, I don't even breathe. She'll leave. Everyone does. Even Connor left me. Oh God, Connor. Why?  
  
"Angel, I know you're awake. Talk to me. What's going on? Where's Connor?"  
  
That did it. I start shaking uncontrollably. "...gone..."  
  
"Gone? Gone where, Angel?"  
  
"...don't know...just gone..."  
  
I can't hold back the tears any longer, I begin sobbing into the pillow.  
  
"Shhh," Cordy says, rubbing my back gently. "It'll be alright. We'll find him, you'll see."  
  
"No we won't," I say through a sob. "We can't. He's...he's...dead."  
  
Cordy freezes. "...no...", she whispers.  
  
I push myself into a sitting position and attempt to put my arms around her. She pulls away.  
  
"How?"  
  
I hang my head. "I wasn't fast enough. Holtz..."  
  
"I'll kill him," Cordy says, her voice almost a growl.  
  
"Holtz is dead too. There was a demon, a time shifter, he wanted Connor dead," I begin. "He opened a portal and Holtz jumped through. With Connor. I... I tried, Cordy. I couldn't stop him.." I broke down again.  
  
"Come here," Cordy puts her arms around me and pulls me to her. Whatever strength that was keeping me upright failed and I fell into her lap, resting my head on her jeans. When I calmed somewhat, Cordy said, "How the Hell did Holtz get Connor?"  
  
A fresh wave of anger washed over me and I vamped out. "Wesley," I growled. "He had been communicating with Holtz behind our backs. He took Connor on the pretense of him spending the night. Next thing I know, Holtz has him."  
  
"Gunn said he was in the hospital," Cordy said, a dangerous edge in her voice. "How could he?"  
  
Still in game face, I sobbed. My emotions were in too much turmoil to concentrate on controling my demon. Cordy rubbed the bumps on my forehead gently, she had discovered that I liked that a few weeks earlier. Before the ballet. Before..him. No. This is not the time for petty jealousy.  
  
"I'm glad you're back," I said quietly. "I... I don't think I could do this alone."  
  
She hugged me as best she could in the positions we were in. "You're never alone, Angel. I'm always here. In spirit, anyway."  
  
I let out a low purr. Cordy's good at being comforting. That's why she is... was so good with Connor. I feel the tears start again and I nuzzle my face against her leg. I don't feel like talking anymore and she knows. I can tell she's trying to be strong, not to cry in front of me,( though, given our positions, 'on top of me' might be a better phrase). I want to tell her not to hold back, that she can do whatever she feels around me. But I'm getting sleepy. Her gentle touches are causing me to give in to the emotional and physical exhaustion that I feel. As I doze off, I feel her gently remove my head from her lap and place me back on the pillow. She continues to rub my back with one hand as she pulls a blanket over me with the other.  
  
As I finally go to sleep, I hear her quietly leave the room. Maybe it was my tired mind playing tricks on me, but I thought I heard her say something as she left.  
  
"I love you, Angel." 


	4. Begin At The Beginning (The Epiphany)

All Disclaimers & Yadda Yadda Yadda: See Chapter One  
  
This chapter written by: MissKitieFantastico & thanks to Kathryn for telling me to add the last part =)  
  
Title: An Irish Lullaby  
  
A/N: Thanks for the reviews, we hope to get more. It inspires us to write, and write with passion.  
  
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Chapter Three  
  
Begin At The Beginning (The Epiphany)  
  
==++==++==++==++==  
  
As I'm walking away from Angel, I try my hardest not to stumble in the darkness.  
  
I'm biting my lip so hard I think I draw blood, but I can't feel anything. I'm completely numb. I can just barely taste it though, that metallic bitter and sweet taste that is totally one of a kind. Somehow I find my way to the door through the tears I'm trying desperately to keep from him, and I put my hand on the doorknob.  
  
I know I have to say it.  
  
Because I know if I lose him before I get the chance to say it, I'll die inside.  
  
Well, if I ever lost him period I'd die inside, but I'd never forgive myself if I didn't just say it.  
  
Do it Cordy! He deserves to know how you feel, now more than ever.  
  
"I love you, Angel."  
  
My words come out thick with emotion I've yet to show, and it's barely a whisper. I know he heard me. Don't ask me how I know, but I do.  
  
I turn back to the door and open it without making any noise and slip out into the hall. The latch clicks faintly when it closes and even that tiny noise seems to echo down the deserted hallway.  
  
My feet seem to be moving okay as I head back for the lobby, but all of a sudden I can't hold my own weight. My legs turn to strawberry Jell-O and I reach for the wall to keep from falling. I sag against the dirty faded wallpaper and I can't help it. I can't keep it in anymore. Against my will a loud sob escapes my throat and my tears finally flood down my cheeks. It took everything I had in me to stay calm for Angel, to comfort him and now I have nothing left. So I cry, sinking to the floor I wrap my arms around my knees and rest my head, hoping my legs will muffle the wails that manage to escape my throat.  
  
God it hurts so bad.  
  
Everywhere. Everything. Everyone.  
  
And I can't make it stop.  
  
I know I shouldn't be crying, and I know I have to be strong. But I can't help but think, and when I think I think of him.  
  
My baby.  
  
I know he's not mine, but he is.  
  
He can't be gone, it's just not fair! He was--don't say was! We'll get him back! I know we will. We have to. He's my life-- he's Angel's life. Connor's just one more thing that ties Angel and me together, and I can't lose that.  
  
He's all I have in this world. Besides Angel… he's all I have. He's the only thing I have to show for my life. Acting career be damned, I had a baby to show for myself. A living, breathing, human baby boy. A baby boy that I loved more than I ever thought I could love anything, including myself. I was supposed to help raise him, watch him grow up and become a man, but now that's been ripped from me. Just taken away from me like everything else. Now all I have left is lying in my room completely broken because his baby is gone.  
  
And I don't know how to make it better.  
  
It can never be better.  
  
We have to find him.  
  
He has to come home to us.  
  
We'll die without him.  
  
==++==++==++==++==  
  
My knees are a little shaky and cramped from being on the floor so long. Don't know how long, but long enough to make my entire body ache. My stomach is in knots and my throat burns like lava, and my eyes… oh god, they hurt so bad I can't even see straight. I probably look like a drowned cat that got run over--twice-- but I don't care. I'm so far beyond caring about anything except the two men that mean the world to me.  
  
I've come to have a great epiphany of my own.  
  
I'm getting Connor back.  
  
I will torture and/or kill anyone who gets in my way. Starting with Justine, Lilah and maybe even Wesley.  
  
Nothing is going to get in my way.  
  
Hell hath no rage like a woman on a mission. Okay, I know that's not right, but it works.  
  
I try my best to wipe the runny mascara from my face, but I know it's in vain. I look like crap anyway, might as well keep the ensemble complete.  
  
I never knew walking could be so hard, but with wobbly legs I make my way to the stairs. Oh boy, that's a lot of stairs. Somehow I manage to get myself down to the lobby without taking a swan dive off the marble staircase, and find Lorne talking on the phone.  
  
He hangs up when he sees me and rushes me like a linebacker. I welcome the hug and squeeze him for all he's worth, then he pulls back, still holding onto my shoulders.  
  
"How ya doin' cutie." His voice is somber, which is weird for Lorne, and I notice the huge gash on his head.  
  
"I'm doing… horrible." I say with a sigh. There's no use lying to him. I could say I'm peachy keen, but my current state of physical being clearly indicates I'm not. "What happened to you?" I reach my hand up to gingerly feel the healing wound.  
  
He winces, stepping back, and his eyes go dark for a split second before he speaks. "Wesley happened. He was trying to take Connor, but he made the mistake of humming a few bars around me and I got a whiff of something not so pleasant in his aura. Tried to split but he caught me and-- wham-o! Now I know how you felt after one of your killer visions. No pun intended."  
  
I bring my fingers to my temple and massage slowly. I can't even put my head around everything that's obviously happened since I left. That's it, I'm never leaving again. Ever. Nothing but badness comes from my departure.  
  
"I can't believe Wesley. He seemed fine when I left. A little down in the dumps over Fred, but he wasn't all psycho or anything. How could he do this?" I sit down on the round sofa and Lorne joins me. Thankfully he actually seems to want to fill me in on what I missed.  
  
"It's the prophecy. I've had some time to go through his notes, and good lordy Boy George. He was clocking some serious hours with that damn thing. I don't think we can really blame him though. From what I got from his notes, and there were plenty to go through let me tell you, everything pointed to Connor being the catalyst for some sort of apocalypse. Angel was supposed to kill him to fulfill the prophecy--"  
  
"What?!" I jerk my hands away from my head and look him dead in the eye. "There's no way--- Angel would NEVER hurt Connor!"  
  
"You know that, I know that. But there's a bit more to it than that, crumbcake."  
  
He pauses, for some sort of dramatic effect or whatever. Which is only serving to piss me off royal. Angel would never lay a finger on Connor. It's just insane. This whole place went mad the moment I left.  
  
"In order to make sure the prophecy came to term, our dear friends at Wolfram & Hart decided to spike Angel's blood. With Connor's. Remind me to send them a gift basket. Or not. Maybe a severed head would be more appropriate."  
  
"They fed him Connor's blood? But why…" I'm shaking my head in utter confusion. The only thing I can think is-- eww. I know it's childish, but there's just so many ways that that's wrong on SO many different levels. Oh, yeah. I'm really going to enjoy hurting Lilah.  
  
"To reawaken his blood lust. So he'd kill his own child."  
  
"Ok, let me get this all straight. Evil lawyer chick spikes Angel's blood, Wes finds out about the prophecy and skedaddles with Connor. But how did Holtz get a hold of him and how did Wes end up with a hole in his throat?" Questions needing answering and I hope to God he does.  
  
"Well, apparently Justine caught up with him and took Connor."  
  
"Oh, Justine must be the chick that's working for Holtz, right?"  
  
He nods in the affirmative, so I continue. "Does anyone know what happened with Angel? He was… he wasn't in any shape to give me the play by play, and I need to know what happened so we can find Connor."  
  
"I know sweetie. I know what you're feeling inside. You're kinda jumbled up, but you're pretty resolute in how you're going to handle this. Someone needs to be."  
  
"So you don't know what happened with him?"  
  
"All I know is there was a big showdown between him, Holtz, Lilah and Sahjhan. Sahjhan created a rip in dimensions and Holtz made a getaway with Connor into it. Gunn and Fred found him a little before sunrise. Don't ask me how, but they did."  
  
Up until now I was pretty stone faced about the whole thing, but now I'm imagining what it could've been like for Angel, and I feel my tears start to build again.  
  
This is almost too surreal.  
  
Like a dream.  
  
No, I'll amend that-- it's like a nightmare.  
  
And I want to wake up now.  
  
I close my eyes hoping it's nothing but a bad dream, but when I open them I'm still with Lorne, there's still blood on the wall and there's still a hole in my soul. And I still want to die because Connor's gone, and now I know there's nothing I can do about it. I feel Lorne's hand on my shoulder, trying to be soothing, but I won't be comforted until I have my little boy back where he belongs… With me and Angel.  
  
I can't help it as another tear slides down my cheek when I think about him. After everything I've just been told and everything I've seen, I know we have to get Connor back.  
  
==++==++==++==++==  
  
The smell makes my stomach churn. The moment I walk through the doors it hits me, washes over me. I'll be stinking like this for hours.  
  
I hate it. I don't want to be here, but I know I have to talk to him. Or at least see him. I have to know.  
  
I have to know why he did it. He's never betrayed us before, and I don't understand it now. He was supposed to be the smart one-- Mr. I-Have- Everything-Under-Control.  
  
I can't think that he did this on purpose. It's just not in him to be so… shortsighted and irresponsible.  
  
I left Gunn and Groo in the waiting room--hoping beyond hope that they won't kill each other-- as I walk down the deserted corridor to the nurses' station. Did I mention I hate hospitals?  
  
The nurse at the desk doesn't even acknowledge me as I lean against the countertop. She's totally engrossed in some cheesy romance novel with some barbarian looking half-naked dude holding a big sword. So, I make my presence known the only way I know how.  
  
"Um, *excuse* me… I'm looking for a friend." When she doesn't respond, I reach across the counter and flick the cover of her book to get her attention. Did I mention I'm in a really bad mood today? Don't have time for pleasantries--not that I ever have time for pleasantries anyways… it's just not in my genes.  
  
She looks up at me from the book, a very vicious scowl plainly etched in her face, bright green eyes flashing with anger. I read her nametag, M I S S Y. What the hell kind of name is *Missy* anyway? Well, certainly not a name for a nurse I can tell you that. A lap dancer, maybe…  
  
"Should I reiterate it for you, *Missy*? I'm looking for a friend. Can you help me or not?" I shoot her what some would call my infamous glare, and I see her back down slightly. Damn, I've still got the touch. Missy doesn't know who she's messing with. Queen C, that's who. The bitchiest bitch in Sunnyhell, and damn not proud of it. But, she doesn't need to know that.  
  
"What's his or her name?" She seems to have given up the staring contest and puts the book down, brushing a lock of red hair behind her heavily pierced ear.  
  
"Wesley Wyndham-Pryce. He came in last night."  
  
She turns to look through a chart, and turns back to me. Something on the chart makes her face lighten immediately as she looks up at me. "I remember him now. Real shame what happened… he's quite the gentleman."  
  
"That's our Wesley! Is it alright if I see him?" She must have the hots for him. I don't like her, but I'll have to remember to get her number for him.  
  
"He might not be conscious, and he can't speak very well. But I suppose that'd be alright. He's in room 426. Down the hall on the left." She points to my right, and I follow her hand in the direction she's pointing for a second before looking back at her.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
But she's already totally absorbed back into her fantasyland with Conan the Barbarian in a loin cloth.  
  
I make my way down the hallway. Everything's pretty quiet except for the constant beeping and whirring of machines in the hospital rooms. I find room 426, but the door is closed. I almost barge right in, but decide to knock first instead. Right, Cordy. She said he could barely talk, let alone shout out for me to come in. I roll my eyes at myself and open the door.  
  
He's lying in the bed on his back. I imagined worse. Thank god it's not worse. No breathing machines, which means nothing vital was severed and he seems to be awake.  
  
"Hey." Is all I can manage. My throat is so tight, and I feel like I need to cry again. He looks so lonely in that bed. His hair is a disaster and he hasn't shaved in what looks like days, maybe more. His face is pale and expressionless as his eyes fixate on me.  
  
"Cor- de- lia." He's struggling with the word, and he winces with the effort. His neck is wrapped with heavy white gauze and tape, and he reaches up to it, to rub at it gingerly.  
  
I can't help my tears once again. I'm supposed to be the strong one, but he looks so little. He looks-- destroyed… Emotionally and physically.  
  
"Oh, Wes…" I finally give up trying to be the Stoic Avenger Girl On A Mission, and decide what he needs now is Cordy. He needs a friend, 'cause I'm feeling like he isn't going to get much of that from the rest of the group.  
  
I let a tear fall as I walk to his bed and sit down on the edge, facing him. My motherly instincts go into overdrive as I take his hand in mine. He's so cold. He's shivering.  
  
"I'm sorry… I tried… to do what was right…" He has to whisper to be able to speak and he closes his eyes, maybe out of exhaustion, maybe out of frustration. Probably a little of both.  
  
"It's not your fault… Well, it is, but you were only doing what you thought was right I'm sure."  
  
He looks at me with the famous Wesley glare I've come to ignore on a more than daily basis. The one that simply states that I'm stating the obvious.  
  
I sigh dramatically, trying to gather my thoughts. He doesn't need someone else telling him how badly he screwed up. That's Gunn's job. Which now that I think about it, I'm getting the feeling him and Wes have already exchanged words. Hence the evil glare he gave me in the hotel. Makes sense, Gunn never was one to hold back on his feelings, even if said guy he's yelling at is bleeding to death. It's just not his style.  
  
"I'm not here to bust your chops, Wes. Well, I was… But I have a feeling you've already gotten it from everyone else. I may not understand what you did, or why you did it. But one thing that I *know* I know about you, is that you did it because you thought you were doing the right thing."  
  
Poor sappy Wesley, his eyes are brimming with tears now as he looks at me and a half hearted smile is playing on his lips. I just had to get all mushy didn't I?  
  
"You know I love you, Wes. We're going to make this better. I promise you we'll make this better."  
  
"Just… get him… back." He squeezes my hand tightly, and his tears finally slide down his face.  
  
I can't help but start with my own tears as he says that, so I bring his hand up to my cheek and hold it there.  
  
"I will, Wes. Nothing's going to stop me. We'll have our family back, even if I have to die trying."  
  
==++==++==++==++==  
  
Coming Soon: Chapter 4!  
  
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Hey all,  
  
Please take the time to review. Me and Tigerwolf are feedback junkies, so take a minute and tell us what you think! Oh, you should also check out her other works, 'cause they're great. Want poetry? Or Fluff? Or angst? She's your girl!  
  
-MissKitieFantastico  
  
A/N: For anyone who noticed, I did get the name of the nurse from a character that Eliza played in a movie. I just had to throw in that little homage to my favorite Slayer with an attitude. (I miss Eliza…) You never know, maybe 'Missy' will make a return to play "nurse" to our favorite Ex- Watcher. Wes just *has* to get some nookie from someone ;-)  
  
Last Note: Special thanks to Diane Weiss for such a great review! I always get a kick out of reading yours, it's nice to know that there are people who take the time to give such great feedback =) 


	5. A Wish Your Heart Makes

Disclaimer, Summary, ect. : See beginning of chapter one.  
  
Author's Note: In this chapter we reveal where the title of this story came from. Those who were paying attention to "Dad" might recognize it. Thanks to MissKitie for giving me the whole thing.  
  
This Chapter Written By: Tigerwolf  
  
  
  
==++==++==++==++==++  
  
Chapter 3  
  
A Wish Your Heart Makes  
  
==++==++==++==++==++  
  
  
  
I'm in a pile of hay. I'm not sure how I got here, or even where 'here' is, but it all seems strangely familiar. There's a voice, distant, soft, floating on the nonexistent breeze. It is familiar as well. And the song, I know that song...  
  
"Gentle comes the morning,  
  
Softly comes the sun..."  
  
I attempt to push myself up and quickly remember that it is difficult to get leverage in a haystack. I manage to extract myself, after a few moments struggle. I have to find where that voice is coming from. That familiar, loving voice.  
  
"Kiss away the dew drops,  
  
Hold you in my arms..."  
  
I'm in a stable, a distantly familiar stable. I go toward the door, even though I can see it's daylight outside, I pay no mind. I have to get to that voice, a voice I'm beginning to recognize. A voice I haven't heard in 259 years. My mother's voice.  
  
"Love to greet the song,  
  
Hold you in my heart  
  
For now and ever more..."  
  
I'm running now, through the sunlight that can't harm me. Not now. Not here. Here I'm safe. I see the estate, the same way I remember it. I vault over the fence and run up to the door. I freeze, is she still there? I listen carefully. Yes, there it is.  
  
"Too-ra-loo-ra loo-ra  
  
Too-ra-loo-ra li  
  
Too-ra-loo-ra loo-ra  
  
Hush now, don't you cry..."  
  
I stumble through the doorway, almost surprised that I can enter. There she is… She's sitting in her rocker that my father made for her when Kathy was born. She's rocking a baby. My limbs suddenly feel like lead. I can't move.  
  
"Too-ra-loo-ra loo-ra  
  
Too-ra-loo-ra li  
  
Too-ra-loo-ra loo-ra  
  
That's an Irish lullaby."  
  
She finishes the song and smiles at the infant. I can't see it clearly.  
  
"He looks just like his father, Liam," she says quietly. She holds the baby so I can see. It's Connor. Somehow, I knew it would be.  
  
"I'm sorry," I whisper. "Mother, I'm so sorry. I never meant... I was going to come back, but there was Darla and..."  
  
"Hush, child. That was all so very long ago. Pay it no mind. What is important is that I finally get to meet my grandson." She smiles lovingly at Connor, who appears to be asleep. "He's beautiful."  
  
I feel tears in my eyes. "I don't know if I ever said this, but I love you, mother."  
  
She smiles at me and motions me to come closer. I oblige, slowly walking toward her. "Where is father? And Kathy? Are they here too?"  
  
"No, they were not necessary. I have a message for you."  
  
"A message? From who? Is it the Powers? What are they doing?"  
  
"So many questions, Liam. You always asked a lot of questions and then you didn't bother to wait for the answers. It's a bad habit. The message is that your son is safe. He is not being harmed."  
  
"Is he dead?"  
  
"In one sense, yes. In another, no."  
  
"Will I... Will I ever see him again?"  
  
"You can see him now." She holds Connor out to me. He yawns, he's always so cute when he yawns. I accept him and cradle him to my chest, my tears dropping onto his blanket. "I love you, Connor. I'm so sorry. I miss you so much."  
  
"You need to say goodbye, for now. Liam, I assure you, his story is just beginning. But he has to come with me. Say goodbye, my son."  
  
"I can't, I don't want to let him go again."  
  
"Time is short."  
  
"I know." I hug Connor as tight as I dare, in a vain attempt to convey all my love in that one simple gesture, then hand him back to his grandmother.  
  
"Goodbye, Liam. I love you."  
  
"I love you, too. Mother."  
  
They don't leave, instead the room fades away. The only thing that remains is the song floating through the air.  
  
"Too-ra-loo-ra loo-ra  
  
Too-ra-loo-ra li  
  
Too-ra-loo-ra loo-ra  
  
That's an Irish lullaby."  
  
  
  
I wake up. I'm still in the bed, with the blanket that Cordy put on me tucked tightly around me, Connor's teddy bear is sitting on the nightstand. I still feel upset, but the dream has comforted me a little. I lie there a few more minutes, then get up and prepare myself to go downstairs. It's time to try again. To try to live, for her, for him. I have to keep going. 


	6. These Dreams

Title: An Irish Lullaby  
  
Chapter Authored By: MissKitieFantastico  
  
A/N: I've been SOOO out of it forever. I really didn't even have any real inspiration for this chapter. My inspiration extended to literally forcing myself in front of the computer and making myself type. That's why it's so short. Writer's block is a bitch. I've been waiting for my "Eureka!" moment, but it just hasn't come yet, so you get more of Cordy's self- rantiness. Which in it's own right is pretty important (since someone mentioned 'repercussions' in their review, I'm touching base on it), but I was hoping to have more for you. Ok, now my note is as long as my chapter. SHUT UP, Kat. Ok. On with the story.  
  
Chapter dedicated to Kathryn: Why you ask am I dedicating it to my co- writer? 'Cause I knew she'd kick my ass though my modem if I didn't post something soon =) *But I luv ya anyways* (((hugs)))  
  
==++==++==++==++==++==  
  
Chapter Five  
  
These Dreams  
  
==++==++==++==++==++==  
  
Talking with Wes took a lot out of me. Now I have no one to blame and I feel like we're getting nowhere. I really do feel like Lassie, minus the actually saving people and more of the chasing-my-tail-in-vain. At least when I was furious with Wes I felt like I was doing something productive.  
  
Now it's 'hello square one'!  
  
I walked out of the hospital in silence-- not even pausing to make sure Gunn and Groo were following me out. I just had to get out of there.  
  
Damn, now that I think about it, I forgot to get Missy's number. Oh well, Wes is a big boy, he can pick up girls on his own.  
  
No one's said a word since we filed into the truck, and I'm thankful. I know, me not wanting to talk? The world must've started rotating backwards… Which is true. The moment I found out about Connor, my world started revolving backwards. That is, if it ever started revolving again from the complete standstill it took after Angel told me. I still can't think about it. Can't think about the 'how', 'why' and 'where' of it all. My head will explode if I try and think about how we're supposed to get into-- not to mention out of if we ever actually get in-- to a hell dimension. At least with Pylea we had a handy dandy book to go by. Even if it was written in a language that obviously saw no importance for vowels. And even if we could figure out how to open a portal-- or whatever sci-fi lingo you wanna use for it-- how would we find the hot spot? Assuming that dimension creates so- called hot spots? Do I even know what I'm talking about?  
  
Too many questions.  
  
Not enough answers.  
  
My head hurts.  
  
I open my eyes, hoping that will make my overloaded brain take a break, but it doesn't help. My mind is still a-whirrin'.  
  
I can see Gunn out of the corner of my eye. His hands are gripped on the wheel so tight, I could almost imagine his knuckles were white. He wasn't at all happy about going to see Wesley but I made him drive me. I don't think the softened look on my face when I left helped either. He's all about holding a big 'ol grudge right now. I don't blame him either. But I just can't feel that way, not after seeing Wes. I like to think I know him fairly well, after working with him for 3 years, and I saw everything he felt. He's never been good at hiding emotion from anyone, but the pain in his eyes… It was overwhelming. How he's holding it all in I'll never know. Actually I do know. I'm doing it right now. Everyone expects me to just lose it at any moment. That's why silence has been the language of choice around me. I don't even know how I'm doing it, I should be a sobbing mess but I'm not.  
  
Even Groo, who's normally so full of random comments, has been on the sidelines. He hasn't said anything to me since we were in the courtyard. Maybe he knows something I don't. Or maybe he's just clueless as ever and he's waiting for me to prompt him.  
  
My gaze shifts from Gunn to Groo, and he's just looking at me. (I gave him too much credit, he's just waiting for me.) That gaze that used to be so comforting is now the most UN-comforting thing for me right now. He's just so… different. Not freakazoid different, but just not what I expected. But I didn't expect anything from him. How could he let me down if I had no expectations for him in the first place?  
  
I just feel empty next to him, like something's missing.  
  
Now I know what that something is.  
  
I knew it the moment I saw Angel in my room.  
  
Angel was what was missing… I could even take it further back than that.  
  
To the night I left him in the hotel.  
  
I should have left happy, or more-so, I should've left happily delirious at the thought of a sex-filled vacation with my studly champion… Instead, I just left. No skip in my step, no fluttering heartbeat at the thought of being with Groo.  
  
Nothing.  
  
I chalked it up to guilt over taking his money. Now I know what it really was. That vacation wasn't meant for Groo, it was meant for Angel. My heart knew that. But who ever said Cordelia Chase listened to her heart?  
  
No one, that's who. I've never listened to my heart. No, that's not true… I listened to my heart once.  
  
What did I get for it?  
  
I got rebar through my stomach as the main course, and public humiliation as a tasty side dish.  
  
Today, seeing Angel, was the first time since then that I actually *listened* to my heart. Listened as in shut off my brain and just let something else take over. I won't lie, it felt good… really good to say something that shocked me but at the same exact time felt so right.  
  
But it was wrong.  
  
Timing and tact. Those are the two things I've always lacked, and now is when I wish I at least had one of those attributes.  
  
*I love you, Angel.*  
  
Oh, God. I knew there were going to be consequences to telling him that. Everything's just so messed up right now, I don't know how I thought that would help. It probably just made things worse. Great, Chase… Let's add a bit more anguish to the hell-state Angel's in. Not only has he potentially LOST his only child, but now you go and tell him you love him, with him full-well knowing you left him for Groo.  
  
I sigh audibly and lean my head against the seat back.  
  
What else can go wrong now?  
  
Don't say that.  
  
Murphy's Law, dumbass!  
  
Another sigh. I don't even know how Angel feels about me. But that's SO not what I should be thinking about right now. I shouldn't be worrying about who loves me and who doesn't. I shouldn't be worrying about who I love more. My only thoughts should be of Connor. We'll get him back and then I'll think about the complete wreck that is my personal life. I'll need to remind myself to sing to Lorne after all this is over. Wait… Oh, my God.  
  
"Lorne!"  
  
==++==++==++==++==  
  
The sun is barely hanging along the horizon, trying to fight off the night, as we drive up to the Hyperion. I look out the windshield at the reds and the purples, and now the black that's slowly starting to leak into the sky, before I jump out of the truck and follow Gunn and Groo up the walkway. I shiver from the breeze and wrap my arms around my chest, trying to keep myself warm. I seem to be cold all the time now, no matter what I do I can't shake the cold. I don't think I've ever been this cold in my life, on the inside or out.  
  
As we walk through the doors, Gunn immediately bolts for the stairs. I'd assume to talk to Fred, or maybe pound out his frustration on a helpless wall. I see Lorne and Angel leaning against the counter talking and my heart leaps at the sight of Angel. Him being upright brings a faint smile to my face, but the fact that he's been TALKING makes that smile grow just a little wider.  
  
Groo clears his throat, and I realize I've been staring at Angel, who seems to have caught my gaze and thrown it right back at me with the same intenseness. Was I so out of it I didn't even notice he was looking at me? Guess so…  
  
"Shall we be going home, Princess?" Groo looks at me expectantly, running a hand through his now short spikey hair. I've just now noticed how worn out he looks. Poor thing must be completely stressed just seeing ME completely stressed.  
  
"Oh, no. I need to talk to Lorne some more. Maybe in a little while. If you'd like you can go on without me? Gunn can always drive me home." I turn to him and run the back of my right hand down the left side of his drawn face. He looks so tired.  
  
"I don't want to leave you alone, Princess." He nuzzles my hand against his cheek, and I catch Angel out of the corner of my eye. He's watching us, intently. With his broody face nonetheless. I drop my hand almost immediately, but manage not to yank my hand down like I'd just touched a hot iron. I've gotten myself into a real pickle here. Two men, one me. Not good odds. Someone's gonna get hurt and I just don't want to think about it right now.  
  
"I'll be fine. I've got three other big manly men to look after me. You should rest. I'm sure this day's been chalked full of un-fun for you, too." I manage a small smile for his sake. It always makes him feel better when I smile, so I force it. I think it ended up being more of a wince than an actual smile, because his face darkens immediately.  
  
"May I talk with you," He glances over at Lorne and Angel, silently watching us, "alone?" I nod and he takes my arm. I glance back at Lorne and Angel before following his lead, and he guides me back outside. I won't tell him that even though we're outside, Angel would probably still be able to hear us. In fact, I know he'll still be able to hear us.  
  
Groo takes in a large breath like he's getting ready to propose marriage-- Oh no. Please don't tell me he's going to propose! Wait, he can't propose, he probably doesn't even know what it is. I sigh with relief as he starts talking.  
  
"I love you, Princess. More than my own life, I cherish you. I always want you to be happy. I want to make you happy."  
  
Maybe I was wrong, maybe he IS going to propose. This is SO not what I want to hear right now. Please let him say something stupid instead!  
  
"I know now that I cannot. You do not love me as I love you. It saddens me that I cannot make you happy, but I believe you know who can."  
  
Phew… That was a close one. Wait a second, what's he trying to say?  
  
"Angel. He is your true champion. I… I am not. I love you more than I can ever express, but I will not keep you from your true love. You deserve him, and happiness. You deserve more than I could ever give you." He looks sad as he talks, but at the same time he looks relieved. I guess he wasn't as thick as I thought. He actually knew what was going on and that's why he was looking at me like that in the truck.  
  
I guess I didn't give him enough credit. He's kinda unpredictable like that, and that's one of the reasons I love him.  
  
And I do love him, that's the thing. I know I do. But maybe he's right, maybe it's not enough? Hell, I don't even know right now. And now he's looking at me and I can't say a thing. Finally, I manage to open my mouth, hoping something will just pop out.  
  
"I… Groo. I didn't want this to happen. I don't even know what 'this' is. Everything's just so-- wrong, right now. I'm sorry." I want to cry. For him, for me, for the future that we won't have, but I can't. I think I've spent my life's supply of tears already in just one day.  
  
"Do not say sorry, Princess. You have made me happy in the time we have shared, and I will forever carry you with me. I shall stay with you, in friendship, for as long as you need me. Angel is a true champion and I will never abandon a fellow warrior. I shall help get your Connor back and avenge the wrongs done to you." He takes my hand in his, "If that is what you wish, Princess."  
  
"You really are something, you know that? And I do love you." I lower my head and stare at the ground. I never wanted this to end. Those two weeks I was happy, and loved, and cared for. I wanted that more than anything, but I guess he's right. It's not enough, and it's not really what I want. Sometime after this is over, maybe I'll actually be able to let that sink in, but for now, I'm playing duck. I'm just gonna let it roll off my back until I actually have a non-refried brain to mull it over with.  
  
"Farewell. For tonight, Princess. I shall retire to your dwelling." I still can't bear to look at him, it hurts too much, but he lifts my chin in his strong hand and forces me to meet his eyes. Those beautiful, not to mention huge, blue eyes. God, I'm gonna miss those eyes. "Talk to him." He means it, with all the emotion in his voice, the strongest is compassion, and I want to cry all over again. He leans forward and brushes his lips against my forehead before heading for the gates.  
  
I guess I didn't have to choose after all.  
  
Damn.  
  
I've just been dumped.  
  
Again.  
  
I have no luck with men whatsoever.  
  
I sigh and head back into the hotel to a waiting Anagogic demon with a quirky musical affliction, and a broody but loveable vampire. I really do love my life, no matter how weird or dangerous… it's me. And I can't wait to get Connor back. Then all will be right in the world.  
  
"Well, good evening, Honey Bumpkins." Lorne smiles at me as I stride towards the two of them.  
  
"Oh, don't pretend you didn't hear all that." I sigh as I drop myself into a chair on the other side of the counter.  
  
"Want to talk about it?"  
  
"Not really, Lorne. Nothing to talk about. I was dumped. End of story."  
  
"Well then. How's Mr. Watcher doing?" Bless Lorne and his topical diversionary tactics. I REALLY didn't want to have to talk to Angel about this. And I know he wants to talk, I can see it in his eyes. Or I could, but with the mention of Wesley, the I-want-to-talk look was replaced with an I-want-to-kill look. Not a pretty change.  
  
"He's good… Oh who the hell am I kidding? He's a mess." I dump my elbows on the table and drop my head into my hands. This is a talk that's not going to go over well with Angel. You know, with the whole I'm-gonna-kill-him thing. "He can't really talk, but he's in better condition than Gunn said he was."  
  
"Too bad… I was hoping he'd suffer a little bit more… You know, after what he did to my son and all."  
  
"Angel… I… He…" I raise my eyes to meet his. The rage and hatred in them practically set me on fire. "He's sorry, Angel. He thought he was protecting Connor when he took him away. He didn't know what Holtz would do. He's--" My voice cracks, and I'm not sure if I can get it out, even if I do, Angel doesn't care. As far as he's concerned Wes is a traitor and he'll never feel sympathy for him. "--really broken up about what he did. He knows he betrayed you, and… God! I know Wes, he'd never do anything intentionally to hurt Connor. He loved him as much as the rest of us, and he's dying inside too. Because of what he did." I'm pleading with him now, hoping he'll understand.  
  
He doesn't. And frankly I don't blame him. But I won't join the I Hate Wesley Club, either.  
  
"Good. Maybe he feels a fraction of what I'm feeling right now!" Angel slams his fist onto the counter and I jump in my seat.  
  
Lorne takes a step back from him and throws his hands up. "Woah big guy. This isn't going to help anything right now. Maybe we should move on to more productive topics?" Once again, bless Lorne for being the designated topic-changer, because with that, Angel softens. He's just an emotional rollercoaster right now. Honestly so am I. Hell, I've been on every ride in the damn park already, and I don't think we're quite done yet.  
  
"I'm sorry… Cordy, I'm sorry. I just want him back. Right now." Angel pleads with me with his eyes, begging me to make Connor come back.  
  
"I know. Me too." I reach across the counter and put my hand over his fisted one. He loosens and grabs hold of me tightly, holding on to me like I'm his lifeline. And he's mine. He always has been.  
  
"Tell her, Angel." Lorne steps forward again and looks at Angel.  
  
"What?"  
  
"About your dream. It might help, both of you."  
  
He looks back at me, still holding my hand and starts to speak. I can already see the faraway look in his eyes as he's recalling it in his head. "I was, at home. In Ireland. My mother was there, with Connor." He stops and smiles when he says his name, "She was so happy to finally meet her grandson, and she told me that everything was ok. That Connor was safe." I can see tears in his eyes now and he refocuses his gaze on me. "It felt real, Cordy. It felt right. I woke up knowing he was ok, wherever he is."  
  
I squeeze his hand tighter and I smile at him, tears I thought were long gone, were stinging my eyes as he looked at me. This was the miracle we needed. Even just that little bit of hope was all we needed to remind us that our son was ok.  
  
"Our son, is ok." Angel never broke his gaze with me as he repeated my thought out loud, and I stare at him now in shock. He'd never said anything like that before. I narrow my eyes a bit, asking with them if I heard him correctly and he nods slightly, letting a soft smile play on his lips.  
  
Lorne sniffs, breaking our silent eye-conversation and we look at him expectantly, "Speaking of dreams, Cordy. You've had a vision."  
  
"What? No I didn't." I pull my hand back from Angel's and tangle my fingers together in my lap.  
  
"Yes you did. I can still sense it."  
  
"Uh, hello? Who's the Seer? I think I would've known if I'd had a vision." I stare at him defiantly, I don't remember having a vision. Although it seems like they've taken on a different nature with my new demon-ness. For one, there's no pain that acts as a big old neon 'Eat At Joe's' sign in my head. And lately they seem to be more real. Like I see it right in front of me, like it's actually happening right where I'm standing. Could I have had a vision and not known it?  
  
"Uh, yeah. While you were sleeping, Hot Cakes." Lorne looks at me, like he's scrutinizing me, just waiting for the second to come when I remember it.  
  
But, I don't…  
  
"Why would the Powers give me a vision in my sleep?"  
  
"It's not like they know when you're catching your beauty-rest all the time. They're busy people I'd presume. Ok, maybe not 'people' but beings… Oh, you catch my drift."  
  
"She's right. How would a vision help if she wasn't conscious to relay it?"  
  
"What do I look like? A magic eight ball? I don't have all the answers. At least not right now. But I know what'll get me the answers…" He eyes me again, but this time with a certain glint in his eye…  
  
Oh no… no no no… Nuh uh. No way. This is not what I had in mind. Humiliation for Angel, yes… Me?  
  
"No." I state adamantly, and to drive it further home, I shake my head furiously at him.  
  
"You know you have to, Sugar Lips. If you want to unwrap the gift, you gotta give Uncle Lorne a peek first."  
  
"But, there's no music, no blaring stage lights, no microphone, no raptured audience!"  
  
"Cordy…" This time it's Angel that speaks up. I can see the hint of a smile that's threatening his lips. No way he's throwing all those singing-jokes- at-his-expense back at me. "You know it's the only way to figure it out if you can't remember."  
  
"I SO don't do well under pressure. You've heard me sing in the shower--" Lorne throws me a questioning glance as I catch my flub, "-- not like that! After his apartment blew up. Anyway, it's all bad. High squeaky voice plus no music equals cosmic disaster."  
  
Angel just looks at me. The parental look. The I'm-putting-my-foot-down-and- your-doing-it look.  
  
"Fine. But if any of you so much as snicker and… you don't want me to finish that sentence." I point my finger at them both and they nod in agreement.  
  
"So maestro, where do you want me?" I hop off the chair and look at Lorne.  
  
"Anywhere you feel comfortable."  
  
"Ok, how about Cancun?" All I get is a minor eyeroll from the green one. "Tough crowd. Fine, go take a seat on the couch."  
  
They do as they're told, for once, without another word.  
  
I duck behind the counter searching for just the right--  
  
"Ah ha. This'll do just fine."  
  
I step out from behind the counter and stand in front of my anxious audience.  
  
"What's that for?" Angel points to my left hand.  
  
"This?" I hold up the little purple flashlight and look at it. "It's my mic."  
  
"Oh." He still looks puzzled. Men will never learn. A woman has needs, and I need something to hold on to or else I might not be able to do this. Oh boy. Here goes nothin'.  
  
My voice starts out shaky, but I close my eyes and let the memory of the song's beat play in my head. It's like riding a bike, right? You never forget…  
  
.  
  
.  
  
Spare a little candle  
  
Save some light for me  
  
Figures up ahead  
  
Moving in the trees  
  
White skin in linen  
  
Perfume on my wrist  
  
And the full moon that hangs over  
  
These dreams in the mist  
  
.  
  
Darkness on the edge  
  
Shadows where I stand  
  
I search for the time  
  
On a watch with no hands  
  
I want to see you clearly  
  
Come closer than this  
  
But all I remember  
  
Are the dreams in the mist  
  
.  
  
.  
  
My hands aren't shaking so bad now, as I'm remembering the song… I haven't heard it in so long, I can't believe I remember all the words…  
  
.  
  
.  
  
These dreams go on when I close my eyes  
  
Every second of the night I live another life  
  
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside  
  
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away  
  
.  
  
Is it clock n dagger  
  
Could it be spring or fall  
  
I walk without a cut  
  
Through a stained glass wall  
  
Weaker in my eyesight  
  
The candle in my grip  
  
And words that have no form  
  
Are falling from my lips  
  
.  
  
.  
  
I can feel the tears now, building up even though I've got my eyes squeezed shut. I actually don't sound so bad, at least I don't think so. I'm practically belting out the song now, putting my all into it…  
  
.  
  
.  
  
These dreams go on when I close my eyes  
  
Every second of the night I live another life  
  
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside  
  
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away  
  
.  
  
There's something out there  
  
I can't resist  
  
I need to hide away from the pain  
  
There's something out there  
  
I can't resist  
  
.  
  
The sweetest song is silence  
  
That I've ever heard  
  
Funny how your feet  
  
In dreams never touch the earth  
  
In a wood full of princes  
  
Freedom is a kiss  
  
But the prince hides his face  
  
From dreams in the mist  
  
.  
  
.  
  
I open my eyes when I sing the last half of the verse and my teary eyes find Angel. He's watching me. I can't seem to tear my gaze away from him, not that I'd ever want to. I feel so far away from him but I can see him clearly. I think he has tears in his eyes now, but maybe that's just my own watery vision…  
  
.  
  
.  
  
These dreams go on when I close my eyes  
  
Every second of the night I live another life  
  
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside  
  
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away  
  
.  
  
.  
  
I let the last note hang and it echoes throughout the massive lobby. I drop my head in my hands in shame, but also to cover my tears. I can't believe that song still has that affect on me. Or maybe it's not the song. Maybe someone else has that affect on me.  
  
I feel strong arms wrap around me and hug me tightly. I breathe him in and know who it is without even opening my eyes.  
  
"Wow, you sure got a pair of lungs on you, girl… Remind me to book you nightly when I get the club running again." Lorne stands and claps his hands in praise.  
  
Angel breaks the hug, and it leaves me empty when he pulls away. But I have larger things on my mind now. I look up at his face, and there are tears in both our eyes now.  
  
"I remember."  
  
==++==++==++==  
  
To Be Continued  
  
==++==++==++==  
  
Whew. That took a lot out of me. I think that's the longest chapter I've ever written. Ok, for those of you that are confused.  
  
No I don't think that was a short chapter. (See above where I say 'long chapter') You see, when I wrote the first half on Wednesday, the rest of it didn't even exist in my head. (I was just too lazy to change the note.) It's now Friday, and I actually got all inspire-y while talking to Kathryn online. So once again thanks to Kathryn for making this chapter better. I'm sure all you loyal readers can agree, so… go review and thank Kathryn for inspiring me to write a fleshier chapter. =) Hope you enjoyed. Kathryn's chapter *should* be up soon, probably within the next few days or so.  
  
Ok, last note, almost forgot: The song? Anyone remember it? I do, being a child of the 80's and all. It's 'These Dreams' by Heart. I don't own them. Just so we're clear.  
  
-MissKitie 


	7. Once Upon A Dream, Uh, Vision

Disclaimer, Summary, ect.: See chapter one.  
  
This chapter written by: Tigerwolf  
  
Author's Note: Ok, I have the whole vision thingy worked out in my head, but it's a bit confusing, so bear with me.  
  
  
  
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Chapter 6  
  
Once Upon A Dream, Uh, Vision  
  
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"I remember," Cordy says, her teary eyes meeting my own.  
  
"What did you see?", I say quietly, gently holding her hand for support. Whether I'm supporting her or she's supporting me, I'm not sure.  
  
"There was a whole lot of stuff that didn't make any sense," she said, wrinkling up her nose in concentration. I wonder if she knows how cute that is... Ok. This is so not the right time for this. Even though she did tell me that she loved me, she probably meant the best friend kind. Not the LOVE love kind. Well, that made no sense. I've spent too many years around teenagers, now I'm talking like them.  
  
"I don't know if I can explain it," Cordy said, looking at me as if I could somehow make it clear. I wished I could. Then I had an idea. I looked at Lorne.  
  
"Lorne, do you remember when you went inside Cordy's mind to see where those fake visions were coming from?" I asked. Continuing to hold Cordy's hand, I walked over to Lorne. This had the unintentional effect of dragging Cordy with me. She didn't resist, however.  
  
"Uh, yeah," Lorne said, looking at me with a confused expression.  
  
"Can you do it again?"  
  
"Whoa there, Angelcakes. You lost me. This vision came from the Powers, I'm sure of that. So why do you want me to trace it?"  
  
"I don't. I want you to put me inside it," I said with determination. "And I thought I told you to stop calling me pastries."  
  
"Oh," Lorne said. Then his red eyes got really big. "Wait a minute! You want me to what?"  
  
"You can do it, just touch me when you connect to Cordy."  
  
"Who do I look like? Spock? Do I have pointed ears? Besides, what if I can't do it?"  
  
Cordy let go of my hand and grabbed Lorne's. "Please, Lorne? It's a good idea, and I think you can do it."  
  
Lorne's look softened as he gazed into Cordy's still tear-filled eyes. "Alright, Sweetie. I'll try." He looked at me. "Wanna do it in here or go up to a room?"  
  
"Let's stay down here," I said. "I've been locked in a room enough lately." I looked at Cordy. "If that's okay with you."  
  
"Fine," Cordy says, her eyes getting back some of the fire that I love so much. "Let's have a vision. And no Sound of Music references this time, okay?"  
  
Lorne grinned. "Sure thing, Hot Cakes."  
  
"What is it with you and calling people breakfast items?" Cordy said with a small smile.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Ten minutes later, we were seated on the couch and almost ready to begin. Except for one thing: Lorne. He had to go to the "little demon's room", as he called it. So Cordy and I were alone for the moment. Hello, uncomfortable silence. Of course I had heard everything that Groo had said, but I didn't want to bring it up. I guess I accidentally went into "brood- mode" because Cordy reached over and gently tickled my ribs. Lately, that's been her way of getting my attention. I gave her a small smile, which she returned and added a hug.  
  
"You doing better?" she asked, after breaking the actual hug but keeping her arm around my waist.  
  
"'Bout as good as you would expect," I replied. "Considering my world no longer makes any sense."  
  
She smiled. "Mine neither. Except for you."  
  
"How do you figure? I don't even make sense to me."  
  
"I don't know. It's just that sometimes you're the only thing in my freaky world that makes sense. That... fits."  
  
I drew in an unnecessary breath. There was no way that she could possibly know that Buffy had once said almost the same thing to me. The unbidden memory caused a twinge in my stomach. Hrumph. If I had only known where the vision would take us, I wouldn't have let that memory bother me...  
  
I must have looked upset, but Cordy's response totally surprised me. She leaned over and gently kissed my cheek.  
  
"It'll be okay, you know," she said, hugging me again. "We'll find him."  
  
I was momentarily embarrassed that I actually hadn't been thinking about Connor, but there was no need for her to know that. "Thanks, Cordy. I know we will."  
  
I thought she was about to kiss me again, but Lorne chose that moment to return. "Ok, kiddies. Let's do this."  
  
Of all the crappy timing, I thought to myself. Oh well.  
  
Lorne sat on a stool in front of us and gently placed his hands on Cordy's temples. "Ok, Princess. You know the drill."  
  
Cordy's eyes drifted shut and Lorne's followed suit. I watched in silence. Lorne's left hand suddenly left Cordy's temple and found mine. My eyes closed and suddenly, I was somewhere else. Somewhere I recognized.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I opened my eyes and found myself standing in the courtyard of the old Crawford Street mansion back in Sunnydale. It was daylight, but I knew that this was in Cordy's head, so I was safe. Strange, though. I didn't think that Cordy had ever been to the mansion before, so how did she even know what it looked like?  
  
Lorne was beside me and Cordy was on his other side. "Where are we?" she asked.  
  
Lorne shrugged. "Your dream, Sweetie."  
  
"So why do I know I'm dreaming?"  
  
I spotted something. "Um, that might explain it."  
  
"That" was another Cordy who appeared, completely unaware of us. DreamCordy was walking into the mansion through the courtyard door.  
  
"Ok, am I the only one having a major wiggins?" Cordy whispered to me.  
  
"Nope," I answered equally quiet. Though why we were whispering, I didn't know. The figments of the dream seemed totally oblivious to our presence. "I guess we should follow her." We did.  
  
The mansion was just as I'd left it. Actually, it was better. It looked like someone was living there. Now I was really beginning to freak out. Thankfully, Cordy chose that moment to grab my hand, otherwise I might have grabbed hers first.  
  
DreamCordy walked into the bedroom and we followed. What we encountered in there made me glad that my heart didn't beat, cause I believe it would have stopped. Standing in the middle of the room was someone I never thought I'd see again, and from the powerful grip that she had on my hand, Cordy agreed with me. There, plain as day, was Doyle. And he was holding Connor.  
  
"Doyle," Cordy whispered, tears coming to her eyes. "Oh, Doyle."  
  
I blinked back my own tears at the sight of our long lost friend. "We need to get closer, to hear what they're saying."  
  
"Now now, Princess," Doyle said to DreamCordy. "Don't cry, the little tyke's okay. But there's another reason you're here."  
  
"There is?" DreamCordy asked.  
  
"Sure! If you want to get him back, you have to follow the past from the beginning."  
  
"I have to huh?"  
  
"Just watch." With that, Doyle gestured and Acathla appeared in the middle of the room. Wait, now we were in the foyer. And... Oh my God.  
  
There was a flash and suddenly Cordy wasn't the only one with a doppelganger. A clang of swords announced the entrance of new players. Buffy, and Angelus. "Oh, shit," I whispered.  
  
The combatants whirled around the room with inhuman speed, blades clashing as they fought for supremacy. Angelus swung his sword and Buffy jumped gracefully over the gleaming blade. Buffy spun and Angelus barely dodged a blow meant to disembowel him. It went on like that for what seemed like forever.  
  
"It doesn't take much to change history, Princess," Doyle's voice said from somewhere in the darkness. "The timing is everything..."  
  
Another image superimposed over the fight: Cordy, Willow, and Oz in a hospital room. A large open book in front of them and some herbs. An Orb of Thesula completed the picture. That image faded as the orb glowed and a small light flew out. Now the fight was clearly visible once again.  
  
Suddenly, a figure moved in the darkness. Neither Angelus nor Buffy noticed the silent observer. It was that demon that had opened the portal that Holtz jumped into. Sahjhan. The small light that I knew was my soul entered the room through the wall, and Sahjhan caught it in his fist. Then he crushed it.  
  
"In your timeline, Sahjhan was there, but he was too late to stop the soul," Doyle continued. "So he went back in time and stopped it, causing the timelines to diverge. Now we will see the differences that small matter of timing caused."  
  
I recognized this moment. Buffy was about ready to kill Angelus. She brought her sword up and... he dodged. Buffy was off balance and he grabbed her, pulled her to him and vamped out. Buffy's eyes filled with fear and sorrow as he tossed her sword away and sank his fangs, my fangs, into her soft, warm neck. She lost consciousness. Angelus looked over his shoulder at the widening portal of Acathla's mouth, then down to Buffy. A strange look crossed his face, he almost looked upset. Then his yellow eyes widened and he slit his wrist with his fangs and forced the blood down Buffy's throat. Only my grip on Cordy and the knowledge that this was a dream kept me from attacking myself.  
  
"Let's fast forward, shall we?" Doyle's voice came again. The scene around us blurred and sped up. Sights and scents and sounds washed over us so fast that I couldn't even separate them one from the other. Then abruptly, it stopped.  
  
Sahjhan and Angelus were seated on what appeared to be thrones in the foyer of the mansion. Demons of various species milled around, bringing drinks and food. Buffy sauntered in, in full game face, fangs gleaming in the reddened light. My heart sank to the floor. "One of her worst nightmares was to be a vampire," I whispered. I didn't think that anyone heard me, but then I felt two reassuring hands. One rubbing circles on my back, and a larger one squeezing my shoulder gently. Cordy and Lorne.  
  
Time sped up again, nearly sending us reeling from dizziness, then it became normal again. Now Angelus was yelling something in a demonic language that I didn't know, at Sahjhan. Sahjhan responded in kind and motioned behind him. At least sixty demons of indeterminate species came growling up behind him. Angelus shouted and nearly a hundred vampires, including Buffy, joined him. It was a stand off. A female version of Sahjhan came up next to him and put her hand on his shoulder. His mate, I guessed. She and Buffy snarled at each other.  
  
Once again, time shot past us at a speed that would have made an Indy 500 car look like a snail on Nyquil. It stopped in a different room of the mansion, the same dark reddish light that seemed to be everywhere flooding the room. There, on the bed, was Sahjhan's mate. Eviscerated. Sahjhan walked in and froze, then he screamed as if his heart was being ripped out. Angelus sauntered into the room through another door. "Oops," he said in the language of snarls and growls that I had always called vampiric. "Guess she couldn't take the heat. Or, rather, the knife." Sahjhan roared and attacked Angelus.  
  
Time moved forward again, taking us with it. History flew past us in rapid, slide-show-like succession. A battle between Sahjhan's demonic forces and a huge group of vampires led by Angelus. A siege on the mansion. A fire, engulfing vampires and demons alike. Buffy, exploding into dust on the tip of Sahjhan's stake. Angelus, attacking Sahjhan like a rabid dog. And blood, many different colors, but all blood. Then suddenly, we were back where we'd started. The battle between Buffy and Angelus frozen in the back ground. Doyle and DreamCordy walked out of the shadows.  
  
"You see now, Princess?", Doyle said. "It's all about the timing."  
  
"But what does this have to do with Connor?" DreamCordy asked.  
  
"Everything. That's where he is."  
  
"No. If he's there, then why didn't I see him?"  
  
Doyle walked over and leaned against the frozen form of Angelus as if he were a statue in the park. "Sahjhan didn't come back here until after that. That's when he decided to bring Holtz through time. He's insane, Princess. Ever since he lost his mate at Angelus' hands, all he's been able to think about is revenge. He discovered Angel's son in our 'verse and figured that would be the perfect thing to complete the revenge. He's crazy, but he's smart."  
  
"So how do we get him back?"  
  
"Up to you, Princess. I'm just the messenger." He turned and began to walk off into the darkness. "Oh, and Princess?"  
  
"Yeah, Doyle?"  
  
"Just remember this: The beginning will bring about the end."  
  
"But what does that mean?"  
  
"I don't know. I just say what the PTB tell me to."  
  
The frozen image of Angelus and Buffy faded along with the surroundings, except for one thing. Acathla stood there long after everything else went dark. Then he too faded, leaving us alone in the blackness.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I opened my eyes and looked around. We were back on the lobby of the Hyperion. Lorne and Cordy were blinking and shaking their heads.  
  
"Whoa," Cordy said. "That was intense. Not to mention a lot longer than my usual visions."  
  
"Ok," Lorne said. "I don't think "intense" describes it, Sweetcakes. Remind me never to do that again."  
  
"Until I ask you to," Cordy said playfully. Lorne smiled and headed for the kitchen to get a drink.  
  
"Well," I said. "We got the message."  
  
"Yeah," Cordy said. "Now we just have to figure out what the Hell it means."  
  
  
  
  
  
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TBC...  
  
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Author's Note 2: Thanks for waiting, everyone. And a special thanks to our favorite reviewers, Diane Weiss and Melohdramatic. We look forward to your reviews as much as you look forward to our stories. MissKitie's chapter will be up as soon as we iron out some plot problems. Keep on reviewing!  
  
-Tigerwolf 


	8. Research and Truce

Title: An Irish Lullaby  
  
Chapter Authored By: MissKitieFantastico  
  
A/N(1): Thanks to everyone for the reviews. Even though we seem to have lost a few people. I'm actually really looking forward to writing the next few chapters 'cause I believe it's gonna get real interesting. Tigerwolf (Angel) & I aren't even sure where each chapter is going to take us, so we're just as surprised as you are by the time it gets posted! =)  
  
A/N(2): HaHa. I don't have one. Made ya look. =P  
  
Disclaimers: See Chapter One. And if you're still confused-- NO we don't own the characters. If we did, we'd be rich, I'd be married to David, and Jaime would be our under-paid nanny. (A girl can dream, can't she?)  
  
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Chapter Seven  
  
Research and Truce  
  
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"Are you going to the kitchen?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Great! Could you get me another Diet Pepsi while you're there? Ooh, and bring that box of leftover pizza with you?" I throw a smile at Angel, and he nods, turning his back to me and heading for the kitchen.  
  
"So, how's it goin' with the book ya got there Cordy?" Fred leans over my shoulder and stares at the book that I have on my lap. We're both on the floor in the lobby, literally surrounded by books of all shapes and smells, pouring over every single text Wesley has in his horrendously large library. We gave up on trying to sort all of it out on the desks about two days ago. Fred and I have been going all blurry-eyed reading through his texts while Gunn, Lorne and Angel have been attempting to go through Wesley's chicken-scratch notes. Some of which are harder to read than the tomes in random archaic languages he owns.  
  
"It's not going anywhere. I can't find anything about anything in any of these. I won't even mention the fact that most of the books I've been going through aren't even in a language I can pronounce let alone read. I mean, the pretty pictures are spiffy, but not exactly helpful." I smile at her over my shoulder as she crawls back to her piece of floor a few feet away, and for the first time in days, she smiled back as she settled herself back in front of her laptop.  
  
She really took these recent events harder than anyone. She loved Connor so much, and she cared for Wes just as much we did, maybe more. Mesh that together with the fact that Fred is quite the sensitive girl to begin with, and it's nothing but trouble. We had an easier time getting her out of her room when she came back from Pylea! But she just needed time, and it seemed like that was all we had because of the fact that we had absolutely no clue what we were supposed to do about getting Connor back.  
  
"Yeah, we're not getting anywhere. And even if what we needed to know was in one of these," she sweeps her arms out in front of her, across the mountain of books and scattered papers, "we don't even know what we're looking FOR." She sighs and her shoulders slump forward in defeat. She's right, you know. Even if what we needed to know WAS in this very room nipping us right in the ass, we're not Team Research. That's Wesley's forté.  
  
Speaking of, he's supposed to be getting out of the hospital today. I would be there except that he's now refused to see any of us. Including me. That was a shot to the gut-- no pun intended-- let me tell you.  
  
I run my hand through my hair and rub at my eyes. We've all been at this for days, sans sleep. It's like the slumber party that wouldn't end!  
  
"Here you go, Cordy. I even put the straw in the can for you." Angel kneels down beside me and hands me the can. He's grinning like an idiot at the fact that he remembered how I liked my soda. I can't help but giggle a little at the sight of him. He's just too cute when he's all homely.  
  
He smiles even wider when I giggle, and he does something that surprises the hell out of me. He runs his fingers down the side of my face and brushes a lock of my brown hair behind my ear. I can feel a blush creep up my neck and I'm struggling to keep my heartbeat normal as I catch his brown eyes with mine. "Thanks." Wow, be more of a dork, Cor. 'Thanks'? I can't believe I sounded like a smitten teenager when I whispered that.  
  
Suddenly we're back in reality and his eyes go dark when he breaks away from my gaze. "Find anything yet?"  
  
He settles himself right next to me on the floor, facing my side, one knee brushing my back, and I adjust my tank top self-consciously before I talk.  
  
"Not a thing. This isn't going to work. We've been looking for a week, Angel. We can't keep wasting time like this."  
  
"I know. But what else can we do? I mean, I could go out and smash a few faces… Which would make me feel a whole hell of a lot better, but it wouldn't help Connor." I don't even think he realizes that while he was talking, his hand wandered to my top, running his long fingers across the hem absently. But oh boy did I ever. I know these distractions aren't helping either of us, but I think it's all we really have right now. And it's so confusing… we haven't said anything about Groo or my little confession, and part of me is thankful. He knows how I feel, but I still don't know if he loves me back. I mean, I'm pretty sure he does, but not bet-my-life-savings-in-Vegas sure. We'll deal later. He knows it, I know it. So I guess I shouldn't be worrying about it, but it'd be nice to know, and be able to take comfort in him. In a lover's kinda way, not in a shady, blurring-the-lines-of-friendship way.  
  
I must've been spacing out, because he takes my hand off the book in my lap and tangles my fingers with his. "Hey, don't worry. We'll get him back. The Powers sent you that-- extremely long-- vision for a reason. They wouldn't have given us hope like that if they didn't think we could beat this."  
  
"Since when are you Mr. Support-O-Matic? I thought that was my job." I feel bad that I wasn't actually thinking about Connor-- I feel selfish. I was thinking about me. I thought I grew out of that a long time ago…  
  
"Yeah well, you don't have to be strong in front of me. This is ME we're talking about. You don't need the walls." What is it with him and metaphors. Walls. Tunnels. He needs a few lessons in Tactless Conversation. It'd make it a whole lot easier to follow him.  
  
"What do you mean? I have to be strong, I'm not gonna sit here and be a cheap knock-off version of a CryBuffy! Gotta grab the bull by the balls and handle the situation." Oops. That slipped out a little harsher than even I would have liked. Damn me for bringing up Buffy, now he's gonna go feel guilty about leaving her and dish himself a double-scoop of Brood.  
  
"You don't have to with me, Cordy. I WANT to be the strong one for us." Us? Again with the confusion. Hey, he forgot to Brood about Buffy! That's it, my world has definitely been replaced by some freakish parallel world where Little-Miss-Likes-To-Fight isn't the center of everyone's universe.  
  
"You want to know what I'm worried about? What I was really thinking about?" I pull my hand out of his and fold them together in my lap.  
  
He nods when I look up at him. "I was thinking about Wesley." Ok, not a total lie. I WAS thinking about Wes. Well, I was about five minutes ago. "Before you go all 'grr' let me explain." I stop him with a wave of my not- so-well manicured hand before he has a chance to open his mouth, but I can see that he REALLY wants to say something.  
  
"We need him here, Angel. I mean look at us!" I emphasize my point by sweeping my gaze across the lobby.  
  
Lorne and Gunn sitting on the round sofa, alternating between taking bites of cold pizza and ripping through pages and pages of notes.  
  
Fred laying on her stomach a few feet away from me, managing to furiously flip through a book and look something up on the internet at the same time.  
  
Groo at the counter, rummaging through his own book.  
  
"We're tired, Angel. And… tired. Maybe some more tired, and on TOP of that, we're not getting ANYWHERE. We need him here."  
  
I look back at him, and his expression is completely unreadable.  
  
"No."  
  
"What do you mean, NO?! How can you say that?" I'm struggling to keep my voice down so I don't draw attention to our very touchy conversation.  
  
He must have been reading my thoughts because he gets up abruptly, pulling me with him.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Come on." He grabs my arm--hard-- and pulls me into Wes' office. Well, what used to be his office. The guys kinda unanimously voted on giving Wes the boot without even consulting me first.  
  
He closes the door, a bit harder than I think he meant to, and I can just imagine what everyone's thinking outside. I yank my arm out of his grasp, practically yelping out in pain. "Ouch! You big bully, that hurt!"  
  
"Sorry." His voice is flat, emotionless. He's too pissed to care about how he grabbed me.  
  
"Whatever." I wave it off, before rubbing my right arm. Oh yeah, that'll bruise for sure. "Why don't you want him to help."  
  
"Because."  
  
"That's not an answer, Angel." I'm glaring daggers at him now. I'll win this fight. If I have to beat him into submission, I will.  
  
"It is for me." He leans back against the desk and crosses his arms. Yeah, like pouting like a big 'ol baby is going to get you out of this conversation.  
  
"I don't think so, Pouty Pants. We need to talk about this." I mimic him and cross my arms over my own chest, eyebrow raised.  
  
"No we don't need to talk about this. And you know damn well why he's not to be involved. It's because of HIM that this happened in the first place." He's gritting his teeth, trying really hard not to yell at me. I could care less, he can yell and pout all he wants, but it's not going to diminish the truth of the situation. We need Wes' expertise and he knows it. He just doesn't want to get past his anger to see it.  
  
"Yeah, and? He knows that. Which is another reason why he SHOULD be here helping us. He needs to help fix this."  
  
"He doesn't deserve a chance to fix it. He betrayed me—betrayed YOU. The GROUP. And he attacked Lorne."  
  
"Lorne'll get over it. Hell, Lorne IS over it. He was the one talking sense into ME when I wanted to rip Wes' head off!"  
  
"I'm in charge here, and I'm saying no." Ah, I know what that is. That's the I'm-the-boss-and-what-I-say-goes tone. Too bad no one voted you into office, El Presidenté. So far I've been the one handling the situation with any kind of mental and emotional clarity.  
  
"You know what? You are such a hypocrite!" I step forward and jab my finger into his chest.  
  
"What?!" He moves to brush my hand away, but I drop it first.  
  
"Here you are working for redemption for the buttloads of people Angelus killed and you're not willing to let Wes have the same chance?! I'd say that's a damn good definition of a hypocrite!"  
  
Maybe I pushed my luck a bit far, because his eyes go completely cold. I'm just batting a thousand today with the tortured-past insults. First Buffy, now Angelus. He doesn't say anything to me, just looks. With dead eyes… Well, dead-er eyes than normal. Great way to win an argument, Cor.  
  
I sigh and close my eyes.  
  
Count to three and try again. One… two… three... I open my eyes and he's still staring at me.  
  
"Angel, I'm sorry. I just… I didn't really mean that, but you've got to think about this. Please?" Time for Grovel-y Cordy to make her grand entrance. So I step toward him and put my hands on his arms.  
  
"But, he's my baby, Cordy. Wes put him in so much danger. How do I forgive him for that?" His eyes have softened a bit, and his voice is little over a whisper.  
  
"I never said you had to forgive him… right away or ever. I want Connor back as much as you do, and Wes does this research and theory mumbo-jumbo better than all of us."  
  
He unfolds his arms and traces his fingers along the reddened area on my arm. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to."  
  
"You're sorry, I'm sorry. We're even. So, let's go kidnap our ex-Watcher shall we?" I smile at him so he knows I mean it, but his frown just grows even deeper.  
  
"Fine. We'll do this your way… But it doesn't mean I have to like it." He sighs, for what reason I'm not so sure. Vampires don't breathe, but who am I to question.  
  
==++==++==++==++==++==  
  
"I'm so nervous! I haven't seen Wes since we took him to the hospital. What if he doesn't listen? What if he doesn't want to help? What if--"  
  
"No more 'what ifs', Fred. I've already driven myself up the proverbial wall over all those. IF he doesn't come quietly, we'll have to use tough love." I glance over at her in the passenger seat of Angel's car. "You wanted to come, please don't get cold feet on me now."  
  
"No, no. I'm coming. It's just, it's like this one time in sixth grade when my mom wanted me to wear this flowery dress for picture day and it was so ugly, and I didn't want to wear it. But I wore it." Fred rambled as she got out of the car and I followed suit, slamming the door shut and tucking the keys into my jeans pocket.  
  
I've completely given up on trying to make sense out of Fred's stories so I stay quiet as we walk through the parking lot to the hospital.  
  
I'm desperately trying to think of what to say to get him to come home with us, but my mind's only drawing a big donut hole. Guess I'll just have to wing it.  
  
We pass by the nurses' station and I see Missy sitting behind the counter. She glances up at us, and smiles warily at me as we turn the corner. Guess I left an impression, huh? She probably won't forget Queen C for a long time to come.  
  
"Wait." Fred grabs my arm just as I'm about to open the door to his room. "I'm scared."  
  
"Why? It's just Wes, Fred." I look back at her and her hand is shaking as she pulls it back.  
  
"What am I supposed to say? What do I do? I mean, I'm still mad at him, but I don't want him to think I hate him. What if he hates me?"  
  
"He doesn't hate any of us. I promise you. Just be Fred." I smile at her as I open the door and walk through, Fred trailing right behind me.  
  
"I thought I told you to stay away." Wes glances over his shoulder before turning away and sliding on his jacket.  
  
"Since when do I ever listen to you?" My vain attempt at lightening the immediate tension in the room completely falters.  
  
"I can't help you."  
  
His back still to us, he busies himself with stuffing his belongings into the duffelbag I'd brought him the day he told me not to visit him anymore.  
  
"Yes you can, Wes. We need you." Fred piped up from behind me, and I see Wes stiffen at the sound of her voice. He must not have seen her when we came in.  
  
"You don't understand."  
  
"What's to understand?" Fred finds some sort of long-lost confidence and pushes past me and storms right up next to Wes. "We can't find Connor without you. You HAVE to help us."  
  
He's quiet for a long moment, then turns to face her before he speaks. His cold voice completely betrayed his face. I'm shocked to see tears running down his cheeks.  
  
"I'll fail. I can't let you down like that again." He's finished throwing his clothes into the bag and swings it over his shoulder. Now I can see the white bandage and gauze wrapped around his neck. He doesn't seem fazed by it at all.  
  
"It was a mistake, it happens to everyone." Fred places her hand on his arm to console him and looks into his eyes, tears now shining brightly in her own. "Please?"  
  
==++==++==++==++==++==  
  
"The beginning will bring the end." Wes leans back in his chair, obviously running all the information through his overloaded brain. "The beginning of what? That is the key to unlocking the puzzle, I am certain. That is what we should focus on."  
  
"Damn visions. They're so freakin' vague. Kinda ironic how the longest vision of my life is the one that's as easy to solve as a Rubix Cube. Gimme more to work with people!" I tilt my head back and yell at the ceiling.  
  
Wes takes off his glasses and rubs at his pale face. "So we know Acathla has something to do with this. Doyle obviously made it a point to emphasize that. What did he say during the battle between Buffy and Angelus?"  
  
"He said, uh, timing is everything. He said the first time Sahjhan tried to stop Angel's soul from re-entering his body, he was too late." I scrunch my face in concentration. I think my hard drive is running out of memory with all these visions taking up space in my head. Sometimes it's hard to tell one from another after a while.  
  
"Is that all?" He leans forward in his seat, replacing his glasses.  
  
"No… I…can't remember now." I sigh in defeat. We've been going through the vision for hours and I can't remember any more details. It doesn't help that Lorne is gone, and Angel's been acting like Charlie Chaplin. Except less bumbling over himself, and more of the not talking.  
  
"He said Sahjhan went back again and made it in time to stop the soul." Angel steps out of the corner of the office and looks straight at Wes, who immediately averts his gaze.  
  
"Divergentverse." Fred mumbled.  
  
"What did you say Fred?" Wes' head shot in her direction before he winced in pain and grabbed his neck.  
  
"From there Sahjhan changed the future. The realities diverged. A divergentverse." She spoke up louder this time, flicking her gaze between me, Wes and Angel.  
  
"Yes, yes. The realities split. A new one was created." Wes busies himself again with scribbling more chicken-scratch on a notepad on the desk, and I'm left partially lost.  
  
"Now, what does this have to do with Angel? That's what I don't understand." I say.  
  
"You heard what Doyle said. Sahjhan's crazy. He's out for revenge. I killed- - I mean, Angelus killed his mate."  
  
"New. Beginning. New. The beginning will bring the end. Do you think that means the beginning of the divergentverse?" Fred shoots forward in her seat, getting her own 'Eureka!' moment.  
  
"It is possible. I believe you are on to something, Fred." Wes smiles at her slightly before writing it down.  
  
"It's all we have to go on. I say we take that ball and run. But that leaves the big 'ol honkin' question of where specifically the beginning is."  
  
"Of course, Cordy. We still need to figure that out--"  
  
Angel cuts Wes off, "The mansion. Where else would the beginning be? That's where the universes 'diverged' isn't it?"  
  
"Of course. We need to go back to the beginning of that universe to bring an end to it." Wes leans back again, obvious pride on his face at the way we're working together. I'm totally with him on that too. Although Angel's been less than forthcoming with conversation directed at Wes, I think he was expecting much worse.  
  
"But what about Connor? You said that Doyle said he was there, and he was safe, right? So how do we get him back?" Fred's voice gets a panicked edge to it as she talks.  
  
"We will have to figure that out, but for now, at least we have some leads. I'll need to do more research, but maybe we can get into that other universe somehow and get Connor out. For now, I think we all need to take a break. Cordy, Angel, Fred. You look exhausted. You should rest, I'll keep looking and I will let you know if I find anything. We'll also need to discuss later, making arrangements to return to Sunnydale."  
  
"Yeah. We'll talk about Sunnydale later." Oh, I'm so not loving this more and more. Sunnydale is like adding salt to an open wound. Except that it's hurts ten times as much, and I'm not the only one with the bad memories.  
  
Wes and I share a quick look before I get out of my chair. It's obvious he's not liking the idea of a trip down memory lane any more than I am.  
  
==++==++==++==++==++==  
  
"What are you thinking?" I tear my gaze away from the passing landscape and look at Angel, sitting behind the wheel of the convertible. His gaze shifts back and forth between me and the road a few times before I organize my thoughts enough to speak.  
  
"Just about how much I really don't want to be in Sunnydale."  
  
"I know, but--"  
  
"It's the only way. I'm aware of that. I'm also aware that half of our group doesn't exactly have fond memories of the Hellmouth and its occupants." I spare a glance into the backseat to look at Wesley. He's staring up at the night sky, while Lorne and Groo are talking about Pylea.  
  
I look back at Angel and continue my thought, "But, we're here for Connor and right now that's more important than a trip down memory lane."  
  
"You amaze me, you know that?" He turns his head to look at me, a slight smile on his face, before tearing his eyes away to look at the road. "You also annoy the hell out of me, but that's also part of what I love about you."  
  
Did he just say what I thought he said? I shake my head and gawk at him. No, my ears aren't playing tricks on me. He said it. The smile and the invisible blush (which would be visible if he were alive) tell me I DEFINITELY heard him right.  
  
I'm about to say something when Lorne pokes his head between us. Oh of all the crappy timing…  
  
"So Sugarcakes, how far have we got? Your old pal Groo here is killin' me with the bedtime stories of decapitation and evisceration."  
  
"Yeah, he tends to go overboard with the share-time, doesn't he… Relax, it's only another 15 minutes." I give Lorne an I-feel-your-pain smile, before he turns to Angel. I could barely hear what he was saying over the roar of the highway.  
  
"I think you should talk to him, Bumpkins. Might alleviate some of the tension." Lorne pats him on the shoulder before slumping back into his seat to get another ear-full of Groo's stories.  
  
All Angel does is look at me, unfortunately it's a look that I can't quite read. I think it's somewhere between anger and pain but I'm not sure.  
  
The rest of the drive was made in uncomfortable silence. We passed the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign and I stuck my tongue out at it. Not very lady- like but at least it made me feel better. That is, until we started passing places I remembered. The Espresso Pump, the school, or what's left of it anyway. All of it took me back to a time I'd rather not remember. I don't want to have to think about who I was when I lived here.  
  
It took me a long time to get away from that girl.  
  
Though sometimes I miss the innocence I used to have. Not having to worry about demons on my way to the mall—just about finding a close parking space so I wouldn't wear out my brand new Prada heels.  
  
Sometimes I miss it… Sometimes.  
  
But then all I have to do is look at my family; Angel, Connor, Wes, Fred, Gunn, even Lorne. I look at them and suddenly I don't miss it a bit.  
  
I must've completely been in La-La-Land because I don't realize that we've stopped until I hear Angel shutting the engine off. I shake away my thoughts and memories and get out of the car. I stretch my back, working out all the kinks from the 2-hour drive, and gaze up at the mansion. It looks a lot gloomier at night now, than it did in my vision.  
  
As I'm walking around to the other side of the car, two headlights blind me coming up the driveway.  
  
Fred and Gunn rode in his pick-up, and I see them hop out of the massive behemoth of a truck.  
  
"So, this is it, huh? Nice diggs." Gunn strolls right past Wes to stand by Angel, who's been staring blankly at the mansion since he got out of the car. Leave it to the PTB to bring us to a place where Angel will feel right at home brooding in.  
  
"Yeah. You guys go on inside, I'll be there in a minute." Angel looks at Gunn for a second before turning to me and Wes. Without another word, everyone slowly makes their way up the rest of the driveway and into the darkened house. I go to walk away too, knowing that this is where Angel is supposed to hash it out with Wes, but he stops me with a look in my direction.  
  
Wes actually looks frightened by whatever he assumes Angel is going to say, but he stands his ground, books in hand, waiting for the first blow.  
  
"I didn't want you here, Wes. But… Cordy has a way of, well, getting her way. And she was also half-right about giving you a chance. Even if we get Connor back, I don't know if I'll ever forgive you, but I have to give you the chance. Or else I WOULD be a hypocrite." His voice is low, but full of hurt, not anger, and he looks at me with a silent 'thank you' in his eyes. I guess my little angry slip-up did make a difference.  
  
"Truth be told, I didn't want to be here, either. But, Cordy does have her way." He gives me a quick glance and a small smile, and continues, "I just hope we will figure this out and get your son back, Angel. I truly AM sorry for what happened. You must know that."  
  
Angel hesitates a second before speaking. "Let's just get inside."  
  
Well, not exactly what I was hoping to hear from him, but I'm glad he at least talked to Wes.  
  
That's the first step of many, I hope. Even if it WAS only a baby step, I think Wes appreciated the gesture.  
  
I smile at no one in particular, and follow Angel and Wes up the drive and into the looming mansion to meet up with the rest of the group.  
  
==++==++==++==++==  
  
So people. What's up with the not-reviewing? I'm gonna take away your playtime privileges if you don't de-lurk and leave us a little note! =)  
  
That said, please hit the little button that says 'Review' and tell us how we're going.  
  
Feedback is like milk. It does a fanficwriter's soul good.  
  
-MissKitie ^o^  
  
Oh, last note. Tigerwolf will, from now on, be posting under the pen-name Angel-4-ever just so you're not confused. If you have any questions as to why, see her profile. Ciao. 


	9. Post Traumatic Hell Disorder

Disclaimer, Summary, ect.: See first chapter.  
  
Author's Note: Sorry to everyone who has been waiting for this, I got really wrapped up in family things over Easter and haven't had time to write until now. This will probably be kind of short, but Kat and I kind of had this all planned out, so bear with us. Oh, and there won't be any Scoobies in this story, at least not yet. They've got their own stuff to deal with. Sorry to anyone who's disappointed.  
  
This chapter authored by: Angel-4-ever (aka Tigerwolf)  
  
  
  
==++==++==++==++==++==  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Post Traumatic Hell Disorder  
  
==++==++==++==++==++==  
  
  
  
As we entered the mansion, I started feeling a little nervous. There were a lot of memories in these old walls, and almost none of them were good. I walked over to the room that used to hold my bed, the bed where Buffy and I had shared our "post-slayage naps". Dammit, I can't believe this is still getting to me.  
  
I thought I was finally over it.  
  
Oh, well.  
  
Some things leave marks on your heart that fade with time, I guess Buffy is more of a scar.  
  
Cordy came up behind me and gave me a little hug. I wonder if it's because she thinks that I'm upset, or because she's upset. Or, it could be what I'd said in the car. I still can't believe I blurted that out, I mean, I meant it, but that wasn't exactly the right time. Huh, I guess there really is no time like the present, especially when you're a dork who says things at the most inappropriate times. Can't take it back now, though. And she said she loved me, back in the hotel room. Of course, that just could have been the emotions of the moment talking.  
  
Anyway.  
  
I slipped my arm around her. I was about to tell her that I'd meant what I'd said, when Wes called us from the other room. Once again, the gods of timing have decided to play with me. We headed back into the main foyer of the mansion where the others were waiting.  
  
"Ah, Angel. There you are," Wes said. I can always count on him to state the obvious. "We were just wondering where exactly Acathla is?"  
  
If it had been possible, I would have gotten even paler. "Um, well, there was a lot going on, and I wasn't exactly in the best of health, and..."  
  
"You forgot what you did with a seven hundred pound statue!?"  
  
"Not forgot, just never remembered," I said sheepishly. "I wasn't exactly normal when I got back."  
  
"And when have you ever been normal?" Cordy asked playfully.  
  
"Very funny."  
  
"You don't remember anything at all?" Wes asked.  
  
"Well, I remember that Acathla was freaking me out, so I decided to get rid of it. I remember several failed attempts to drag it up the stairs, one of which that almost flattened me. And I remember finally figuring out that I had to roll it up the stairs one at a time. It took all day. Then I left it in a room up there."  
  
"Oh, very good. So, all we have to do is go upstairs and look in every room until we find it."  
  
"Uh, Wes?" I ventured. "It's not going to be that easy. I don't remember what floor I left it on."  
  
"So we'll search them all," Lorne said. "I mean, how many floors could there be?"  
  
"Six, I think. Oh, and there are hidden passageways that lead into the sewer system, and some trapdoors that will drop you into the basement, if you aren't careful. And some of the passageways lead to other areas in the house."  
  
"Oh, bloody wonderful!" Wes said, throwing his hands up. "We're stuck in a funhouse!"  
  
"It would seem," Groo said. "That the only way of finding what we are looking for is to search the entire house."  
  
"I vote we split up," Gunn said. "I'll stay with Fred."  
  
"Big surprise," Cordy whispered.  
  
"Ok," Wesley said. "How about Gunn goes with Fred, I go with Lorne, and Groo goes with Cordelia and Angel?"  
  
"Fine with me," Lorne said.  
  
"Us too," said Fred.  
  
"Me too," Cordy said. "Right, Angel?"  
  
I was a little surprised that she didn't ask Groo if it was alright with him. "Uh, yeah. Fine."  
  
We separated and began the search. There was no point in looking on the ground floor, since I knew that it was upstairs. So we each picked a floor and got started. It wasn't long before we were all hopelessly lost. I'd never actually explored the higher floors, so even I didn't know what to expect. Groo split off from us in one of the passages, but Cordy wouldn't even let go of me, let alone wander off. I was flattered that she trusted me, however I didn't know where we were any more than she did.  
  
We came out of the passage in a hallway, who knew what floor it was, and encountered one of the funniest scenes that I'd ever witnessed.  
  
It looked like something out of a Scooby-Doo movie. A door would open on one side of the hall, and Wes and Lorne would come out, then go in another door at the other end of the hall. Then Groo would come out of the door that Wes had just gone in. Then a moment later, that same door would open and Gunn and Fred would come out, cross the hall and enter another door on the other side. Cordy started giggling uncontrollably after the third repeat performance of the hall crossing. After Wes and Lorne nearly ran into Gunn and Fred, who had been coming out of the door that they had been heading for, and Groo had come up out of a passage in the middle of the floor, I started laughing as well.  
  
But I was nearly pushed over the edge when Wes came out of one door, alone, stood in the middle of the hall and shouted, "Where the bloody hell is everybody!" I had to grab the wall to keep from collapsing from laughter.  
  
After Cordy and I recovered from our laughing fit, she decided that since all the passageways seemed to meet in the same hall, we could split up and cover more ground. I agreed. Cordy headed off into one of the passages that Groo had come out of a moment earlier. I started looking for the stairs. Something told me that I needed to be higher.  
  
I found the stairs in a rather unorthodox fashion. I nearly fell down them. The passageway that I had been in ended in the wall halfway between the fourth and fifth floors, so when I opened the door and stepped through, I wound up on a slant and had to grab the rail to keep from falling. For once, I was actually glad that I was a vampire. Catlike reflexes and all that.  
  
I headed up the stairs and opened a door to find myself on the roof. Oops. Too far. I turned around and went back down one flight of stairs and started searching the uppermost floor. I avoided the passages this time, I didn't want to wind up outside again. It was almost sunup anyway.  
  
As I walked the halls, I became aware of something. I was feeling a little nervous. Check that. I was very nervous. But, that might be a good thing. I used to get this same feeling when I was near Acathla, maybe this meant that I was on the right floor. However, the feeling was getting worse.  
  
Much worse.  
  
I did my best to ignore it.  
  
*FLASH!* Chains, bars of a cage. Screams and whips cracking.  
  
I shook my head. "Ok," I muttered. "That was weird."  
  
I continued opening doors and peeking inside. Now I was actually feeling scared, I was even a bit nauseated. I knew I had to be close.  
  
*FLASH!* A demon, nearly nine feet tall. It had four arms and in each hand was a different torture implement. In one hand, a cat-of-nine-tails whip, in another hand, a branding iron, in another hand, a cattle prod-like device, and in the final hand, an old fashioned dagger with a dragon emblazoned on the handle.  
  
I slipped and fell on my ass. "What the Hell was that!" I yelped. Then I caught sight of what was behind the door that I had just opened. I had found Acathla. I pushed myself up and walked into the room, calling to the others over my shoulder. Now all I had to do was wait for them to figure out where I was.  
  
I walked over to a folding chair and stood it up, then I sat down. I felt as if the stupid statue was looking at me, so I got up and moved the chair around behind it. Now I couldn't see the door, so I moved again. Once again, I felt as if Acathla was watching me, so I gave up and took my chair outside the door to wait for the others. I probably should have done that to begin with.  
  
A few moments later, they all emerged from various passages and came over to me. I led them into the room, feeling a little better now that I wasn't alone.  
  
"Yuck," Fred commented. "It's even uglier than I expected."  
  
"Aw, Fred," Cordy said. "If it bothers you, just close your eyes."  
  
*FLASH!* "Close your eyes." A searing pain through my stomach, and a loud sucking sound. Cage, I'm in a cage. What's that? No! Get away from me! NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
The memories seemed to go on forever, pain, all over, radiating from every part of my body. Heat, searing heat, burning me all over at once. It was too much, far too much. I was vaguely aware of the voices of my friends, calling to me. Someone tried to grab me and I slugged them without thinking.  
  
I had to escape!  
  
I had to get away from the pain.  
  
I must have run out of the room and into the hallway, cause when I started to come back to my senses, I was slumped against the wall. Cordy was sitting next to me and holding me tightly, whispering that I was safe, that it was over. It took me a moment to recover completely. And, when I did, I noticed Groo leaning against the wall, rubbing his jaw. Oops, I guess that's who I hit. Heh, well, at least I had an excuse.  
  
"Are you okay?" Cordy asked after I'd finally stopped shaking. Well, I'd stopped shaking constantly, anyway.  
  
"Uh, yeah. I think so," even as I said that, I felt another uncontrollable shiver pass through my body. Cordy hugged me tighter.  
  
"Groo," she said. "Would you go tell Wes that we're gonna stay out here 'till he gets the portal open? I don't think Angel needs to go back in there until he has to."  
  
"Yes, princess."  
  
Groo turned and reentered the room, leaving me sitting in Cordy's arms.  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC...  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Thanks again for reviewing, especially to Insane1 and Melohdramatic. Oh, and Tequila Sunrise? I'm flattered that you like our story even though you don't watch Angel. And please E-mail me when the next chap of Convoluted is up.  
  
Don't worry everybody. MissKitie's chap will be up soon, so keep watching for us!  
  
BTW, I'm still working on Night of the Living Dinosaurs, and I plan to continue Playtime as so many requested. Thanks for the reviews, all! 


	10. New Horizons

A/N: Sorry for the, um—extremely long—delay! Doncha hate it when crap is worked out in your brain but you don't know how to put in on paper? Anyways… GRR. Sorry, I hope this chapter was worth the wait!  
  
–MissKitie  
  
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Chapter Nine  
  
New Horizons  
  
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I don't think I've ever seen him wigg that bad.  
  
I don't have a clue what set him off, one minute he was fine, the next he's screaming bloody murder trying to find his way—somewhere—and he actually punched Groo. It wasn't intentional of course, but it scared me.  
  
I followed him out into the hallway, preparing myself to run after him out into the pre-dawn haze, but he was just slumped against the opposite wall right in front of the door. I immediately collapsed at his side, drawing him into me, trying to shield whatever it was that scared him so bad, away from him. He shuddered and twitched and whimpered in my arms for what felt like forever, and I tried as hard as I could not to break down with him. I whispered to him, kissed his forehead reassuringly, and smoothed down his hair. The tears in my eyes burned so bad, but I refused to let them go. I held on to them as tightly as I did to the vampire in my arms. By the time he looked up at me, my black sweater was soaked through with his tears.  
  
"It's alright, Angel. I'm here. What happened?" I gently tried to get him to talk about what had happened in there, what was going on with him, but he just stared at me for a few seconds before shaking his head.  
  
"I'm fine. We need to get this over with." His voice was heavy with sadness, maybe even pain. But I didn't push him anymore. He'd tell me if he wanted to. He will tell me, he always does.  
  
Slowly he pulled away from me, and stood, bracing himself with the wall. I was still scared for him, and scared about what we were about to go through with. We didn't really have a plan when we left LA, more of a 'we have a lead so we'll just go with it, and see where it takes us' sort of half- assed plan. Now I'm thinking not the best idea in the world that we've come up with as of yet.  
  
I realize I'm still on the floor, just staring up at Angel who's slumped against the wall, eyes closed, when I hear someone clear their throat. I look up to see Wesley standing in the doorway and I smile.  
  
"I think we're ready." I can see him looking at Angel, a bit uneasy, he probably thinks he'll freak out again and go after him.  
  
"Can I get the once-over just one more time, Wes? I mean, how's this gonna work exactly?" I say as I pull myself up off the hardwood floor to lean back against the wall, arms crossing over my chest.  
  
"Well, there is the ritual. Which is almost complete. Acathla acts much like the center of a 'mystical convergence', or div-ergence as the case may be, and it creates a temporary rift in the dimensions it's linked to in order for us to step through. Much like walking through a doorway. Once we're through, it closes."  
  
"Oh. Don't we have to be all bind-y like with Pylea?" I really don't want to end up like one-seventh of a freaky Siamese twin, as Gunn so eloquently put it last time.  
  
"No. This is a dimension that was CREATED by a rift in time. It's tainted so-to-speak, very different from Pylea." Wes said in all certainty. Well, if he believes what he's saying, who am I to disagree?  
  
"Great. No threat of merging into one grotesque monster on the other side of the air-quote 'portal'. But how do we get back?" That's the real clincher there. Yeah, we get through all fine and dandy, but how the hell do we get OUT?  
  
"Much in the same respect. Via Acathla."  
  
"Gotcha. Good enough for me… So, Angel," I say, turning to him. He was totally out of it, 'cause he didn't even hear me. I touch his forearm gently, and his head snaps up so fast, if he were human he probably would've broken his neck.  
  
"Are you ready?"  
  
"Yeah." His voice is shaky, but he moves forward and Wesley stumbles back into the room to avoid him, and I silently follow. Who was it just a few hours ago that was talking about walls? If there's any sort of metaphor for him at this very moment, he wouldn't just be a regular wall, he'd be the Great Wall of China. You know, the one you can see from outer space?  
  
Angel steps off to the side and I get a good look at the room. It's completely bare, except for the big hunk of ugly demon-stone in the middle of the room, and there's seven candles surrounding him in the shape of a circle. The flames from the candles throws an eerie light on Acathla and I shudder when I look at his closed eyes.  
  
Totally creepy.  
  
Fred's finishing creating a circle, with some black powder from a pouch Wesley brought, around Acathla, just inside the candles. She stands and hands the pouch back to Wesley and he stuffs it into his satchel.  
  
He removes a small black book from his bag and flips through the pages until he finds the one he wants.  
  
"Alright. I think we're ready. The room has been purified, candles lit, binding salts poured. Now I read from this book and our doorway should open. But, and I cannot stress this enough, once the flames on the candles turn blue, we MUST all step forward and into the light at the same time, or one or many of us will be left behind. It's imperative we enter at the same moment." Wesley finishes his speech and looks at each of us. Without another word, we gather around Acathla in a circle. I have Angel on my right, and Wesley on my left.  
  
My two manly men.  
  
Wesley begins to read in another language, and I feel the air in the room start to almost shift. Not like how the wind blows, it's just… moving… All around us now.  
  
I look frantically back and forth between Wesley, Lorne, and Fred, who's clutching onto Gunn's hand as tight as she possibly can, and my eyes snap to Angel's. He's looking at me, and he must see the fear in my eyes because his hand immediately seeks mine out and I hold on to him for dear life.  
  
The air seems to have stopped moving, but now it's heavy, and I can feel my knees trying to give way under the pressure, and all of a sudden the candles all go out at once, completely blanketing the entire room in black before re-lighting all on their own. But it's not yellow anymore, it's a bright blue, and it's not even a second after my eyes adjust to the blue tint to the room, that a white light shoots up from the circle of black powder and I hear Wesley scream, "NOW!"  
  
I don't know how I get my heavy legs to move, but I step forward, closing my eyes tight against the blinding light and I feel a rush of hot air all around me.  
  
And then it stops.  
  
I crack one eye open, and then the other and I breathe a sigh of relief as I feel Angel's hand still in mine, and I see everyone standing all around me. I look to my left, and thank god, Wesley's there.  
  
I'm about to let out a great big laugh, when I notice the one thing missing is…  
  
"Acathla." I hear Angel breathe out next to me.  
  
Acathla isn't there. I take a good look at the room, and it's still the same room that we were just in, except it's different.  
  
Still bare of all furniture, but the walls and the floor look almost rotted away, graffiti of some otherworldly kind sprayed all over the them, and the ceiling.  
  
And that light.  
  
A deep red light is filtering in from the broken shutters on the massive windows.  
  
Angel registers the light and with a growl, attempts to shield himself from it, trying to find a corner to sink into, but he realizes at the same time as I race to cover him, that he's not on fire.  
  
~*~  
  
We moved through the abandoned mansion in complete silence, trying to make our way to the bottom floor. All the walls are covered either in that strange graffiti, or blood, or… other… things.  
  
Things I don't even want to know about.  
  
By the time we reach the entryway, we're certain the mansion hasn't been lived in for quite a while, and when we reach the door, we all stop. I don't know about anyone else, but my major thought is, if it's this disgusting in here, what's it like out there?  
  
Who knows what kind of dimension we've landed ourselves in!  
  
Not to mention that freaky light. I don't know what's up with that, but it really does nothing for my complexion to say the least.  
  
"Angel?" My voice is completely unsure, just that one word is asking him so many questions I know I wouldn't be able to form into coherent sentences.  
  
He understands and gives my hand a small squeeze before letting it go, and he steps forward to the door. We all wait. In silence. I don't even think any of us are breathing.  
  
When he opens it, that red light floods into the room and I shield my eyes from it before they adjust to the light change.  
  
~*~  
  
We made our way down the driveway and down the street in complete silence before Gunn finally broke it.  
  
"Alright. Anyone else officially freaked?" He looks between all of us, I don't think he was expecting an actual response, he just needed to break our silent trudging.  
  
"Um, I'll go with yeah. This isn't good kiddies." Lorne pipes in.  
  
"This is so not right." I look up at the sky, which in MY world, would've been blue, but that's the source of the red. The entire sky is the color of blood. Everything around us is tinted with it. There doesn't even seem to be a real source of it, like… No sun.  
  
Just red.  
  
"Thank you, Barbi. For stating the obvious."  
  
"Hey, no need to get snippy with me…" I glance back at him, shooting him an irritated glare. I just want to find Connor, find Acathla and get out. I could care less about the particulars of this dimension. I just want OUT.  
  
Our tight group swiftly makes its way into downtown, and as we turn the corner to Main Street, we all stop dead in our tracks.  
  
I hear Wesley gasp behind me, but I don't even bother to turn around.  
  
Until now we hadn't seen any signs of life, I was starting to worry. Now I wish we hadn't found any. We humans seem to be the minority here. My jaw literally drops open as I take in my surroundings. Most of the shops are the same, except there's almost nothing but random demon's just milling about.  
  
Shopping. Talking. Fighting. You name it.  
  
There's a few human-ish looking faces amongst the throngs of demons, but there's no telling if they're human-human or if they're vampire-human or some other form of demon-human. I feel like we're sticking out like a sore thumb here. I glance around at everyone else, and they're just staring wide- eyed like me.  
  
"Dear lord…" Wesley whispers. He blinks his eyes a few times before he takes his glasses off. Deciding that it's not his glasses that are making him see these things, he replaces them.  
  
"Uh, guys… I think we need to double-time it." Angel's voice breaks us from our daze, and all eyes are on him.  
  
"Double-time it where exactly?" Gunn throws back at him. "He could be anywhere." Fred nods in confirmation, still clutching onto Gunn's side as if she didn't she'd be sucked away. Poor girl, just got back from a demon dimension and here she is again. Albeit, different dimension, but I don't think she's makes the distinction.  
  
"Wait." Angel holds a hand out to me as I start to step forward, and I freeze mid-step. "Do you feel that?"  
  
I shake my head in confusion. I… something's… it's not not-right, just something. Then I nod absently, knowing that I DO feel something, but I'm trying to figure out what it is.  
  
"What? What is it Angel?" Wes steps forward, his voice deeply concerned, eyes searching Angel's face for his answer.  
  
"It's a, I feel…" Angel's eyes dart around us, and I can see him sniffing at the air, trying to figure it out.  
  
"This way." I blurt it out without thinking, and point to my right, down a side street. Before anyone can ask any questions, or before I can even ask myself any questions, my feet are moving on the cement.  
  
Angel catches up to me, but doesn't attempt to stop me, just follows my stride. "You felt it. I can feel it. Something's pulling us isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah." I say, out of breath.  
  
"Hold up, yo. Where are we going?" Gunn jogs up next to us, and turns around, backpedaling in front of us.  
  
"I don't know. We're just going. We'll know when we get there." Angel's response is clipped and no-nonsense. They'll follow, and they won't ask questions.  
  
Before I even know what's going on, I stop in front of an old abandoned warehouse. It looks oddly familiar, but I don't know why.  
  
"This is it. Here." Angel looks back at the group, just staring up at the building.  
  
"Well, what are we waiting for? Let us get back your son, Angel." Groo steps forward, and draws his sword.  
  
Everyone else follows suit. Gunn pulls his crossbow off his back, Fred and Lorne pull out stakes, and Angel hands me a small throwing axe, while pulling out his sword, tossing another smaller one to Wes, which he had on his back inside his leather jacket.  
  
"Here goes nothing."  
  
I nod at Angel and he slides open the metal door to the warehouse.  
  
It takes a second to adjust to the darkness, and I try to stifle a cough from the stale air. We start to move forward into the massive room, but Angel's growl stops us dead.  
  
I follow his line of sight across the room and I squint to see what he's looking at. At first I don't see anything, but then something moves.  
  
Fast.  
  
Out from behind a crate, tumbling silently behind another one.  
  
"Wait here." He whispers back at us.  
  
Yeah, like I'm gonna listen. Not.  
  
I move forward with him, but he doesn't even notice.  
  
I spare a glance back at the guys, who've fanned out across the room behind us, eyes wandering everywhere, waiting, visibly tensed for battle.  
  
I turn around in time to see the shadow dart once again from a crate at the back of the warehouse, only to jump up, cat-like, onto another taller one a good twenty feet away from it. Then it jumps again, landing silently on the concrete floor, behind a pillar out of my sight.  
  
Angel holds a hand out to me, ushering me to keep behind him as he follows the direction our phantom was last seen. I follow behind him, slower this time, my heart pounding in my ears now, throat so tight I can barely get air in and out of my lungs.  
  
I gasp when Angel spins around suddenly, sword drawn up, and I stumble off to the left and lose my balance.  
  
I hit the floor hard, a pain shooting up my spine from landing on my ass. I lose the grip on my axe and it clangs to the ground before skidding just out of my reach.  
  
My eyes immediately shoot up to the figure towering right above me.  
  
I see Angel coil out of the corner of my eye, like a spring ready to explode with tension, but the figure holds a hand up to him and speaks.  
  
"Wait." Our phantom is a she. A very British she, but I can't make any of her out because of all the gloom.  
  
"Who are you." Angel's face, which I just now noticed had been replaced by his demon visage, contorted in anger as he ground out his words.  
  
"A friend." For being obviously surrounded by a group of well-equipped, very angry fighters, she sure was nonchalant about it.  
  
She slowly takes a step forward into a patch of faint red light streaming in from a high window, and I get a good look at her.  
  
In a word, she's beautiful.  
  
Tall. Long hair, looks like a deep red (although that could be from the overabundance of red sunlight), flowing down her back. Black leather pants. High-heeled boots. Black turtle-necked sweater.  
  
I suddenly feel frumpy in my blue jeans, tennis shoes and black sweater. She's very feminine GQ. How I USED to look. Way back when before I knew any better.  
  
She reaches down, extending her hand, and I look into her eyes for a second. Even her eyes are beautiful. They shine sky blue, almost clear, even in the shadows. And they're so… warm. Compassionate. Pick any word out of a thesaurus you want and it was in her eyes.  
  
Against my better judgement I take her hand and she pulls me up effortlessly.  
  
I hear Angel growl again, "Get away from her."  
  
"Angel. Please. We work for the same." She steps past me and picks up my axe, handing it to me handle-first and I take it. I can't seem to move my legs though. Everything inside me is telling me to get away from her as pure instinct, but my heart says no.  
  
So I watch her.  
  
"The same? I work for no one." His voice is still menacing. He can't see her eyes, I know that, because if he did, he'd be a puddle of goo like I am right now.  
  
"Do not let your employer hear that, dear Angel." She laughed a bit, like an angel, her voice light and sweet. "But that is not who I meant." She smiles at me, and points up to the ceiling.  
  
"The Powers?" I ask, shaking my head in complete disbelief.  
  
She smiles wider, a beautiful, almost heavenly smile, and she nods. "If you will all lower your weapons, and come with me, I will tell you everything you need to know."  
  
*TBC* 


	11. Quite A Tail To Tell

Disclaimer, Summary, ect.: See first chapter.  
  
Author's Notes: Sorry it's been so long between chaps, guys. Kat's computer went down for awhile, and you all know that I don't post without her, I can't. Literally. My computer won't do it, so she posts all my fics for me. Aren't friends great? Anyways, MissKitie and I are putting in a couple of characters of our own to this. Aris belongs to MissKitie, so please don't use her in anything else, 'k? And the Wolf Demon is my idea, you can use that, but please mail me and ask first. Now, without further adieu, chapter 10....  
  
Chapter Authored By: Tigerwolf (yep, I'm back!) =)  
  
  
  
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Chapter 10  
  
Quite A Tail To Tell  
  
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"How do we know we can trust you?" I asked the woman. Though some part of me automatically trusted her. She looked like an angel, a real one. "I mean, you say that the Powers sent you, but how do we know that you aren't lying?"  
  
The mysterious woman smiled again, and I noticed her eyes for the first time. I'd never seen a shade of blue quite like that before. It was almost mesmerizing. Still, I stepped forward to be closer to Cordy. If this stranger did try anything, I'd personally rip her head off before I'd let anything happen to Cordy.  
  
"You want me to prove my allegiance?" she said, looking at me with those amazing eyes. It was hard for me to feel threatened at all, it was almost like looking at love embodied. Cordy put a hand on my arm. If it was to steady me, or her, I don't know.  
  
"My name is Aris," she said, holding her hand out to me. I looked at it for a minute, then hesitantly took her hand. A warm, pleasurable wave passed through me. I relaxed, suddenly. Even though I didn't know why, everything suddenly made perfect sense. Of course she's here, why wouldn't she be?  
  
"I protect the innocent, those who cannot protect themselves," Aris said, breaking the handshake and smiling at me. I couldn't help but smile back. "I was sent to protect Connor, but then Sahjhan interfered and a rip in realities was created. Connor was never meant to come here, however, I am a defender, not an attacker. So I sent for all of you."  
  
"Sent for us?" Wes asked, speaking up for the first time in a while.  
  
"The dreams," Cordy and I said together. Aris smiled at us.  
  
"Yes, the dreams. With a little help from a mutual acquaintance of ours."  
  
"Doyle?" Cordy asked quietly. I put my arm around her.  
  
"Yes. A stubborn man, but useful. And very loyal to his friends."  
  
A single tear slid down Cordy's cheek, I gently brushed it away. I had the sudden urge to kiss her, and Aris smiled at me again. I wished that she'd stop doing that, it made me feel all warm inside. Not a bad feeling, but not one that was really appropriate at the time, either.  
  
"So, you were sent to protect Connor?" Fred asked as she and Gunn slowly stepped from the shadows, their arms around each other.  
  
"Yes, that is my mission."  
  
"Cool," Gunn said. "So, any idea where to find him?"  
  
"I maintain a telepathic connection with my charges at all times, but it is not exactly specific as to where they are located. I mostly just feel their emotions and, sometimes, their thoughts."  
  
"Is Connor... Is he okay?" I asked, even though I was a little scared of the answer.  
  
Aris smiled at me again. "He's fine. Now. He was a little nervous earlier, but I think that was just the surroundings. I can tell you that he doesn't like Sahjhan, or Holtz."  
  
"That's got to be Connor," Cordy said happily. "He really takes after his dad. Well, you know, aside from the whole "blood-sucking demon" thing."  
  
"Do you have any idea where to start looking?" I asked, ignoring Cordy's jibe.  
  
"As I get closer to my charge, the child's emotions get stronger. I believe we can locate him that way."  
  
"Umm," Lorne said, stepping forward for the first time. "There is just one little, teeny-tiny problem. Angel and I are pretty much the only ones who can remotely blend in out there. So what do we do about Wes, Gunn, Fred, and Cordy? They're going to stick out like sore thumbs."  
  
"Lorne's right," Cordy said. "We won't be helpful at all if something decides to eat us."  
  
"I believe I may be of some assistance," Aris said. "I am capable of slightly manipulating the perceptions of other beings so that I may pass by them unnoticed. Allow me to demonstrate."  
  
There was a flash of light, and there was a Qualloth demon where Aris had stood only a few seconds before. On reflex, all of us raised whatever weapons were available to us. But then we heard Aris. "Do not fear, it's still me. I have changed your perceptions to see me as a demon. This is how I have been looking around the town."  
  
Light flashed again, and Aris was back. "If you all stay within ten feet of me, I can make sure you are seen as demons, not humans." She looked at me. "And, Angel, it is most important that you disguise yourself as well. As of the moment you entered this world, there have been two of you."  
  
"Two of me?" I said, then it hit me. "Oh no. You mean that Angelus is here, somewhere."  
  
"Precisely."  
  
"Oh great," Cordy said. "Like I really needed to meet him again."  
  
I gave Cordy a sideways look, then turned back to Aris. "Doing this camouflaging stuff won't dampen your ability to sense Connor, will it?"  
  
"No. The two are unconnected."  
  
"Well then," Wes said. "I say we move on, we have a lot of town to cover. And who knows how much time we have left."  
  
As we all walked out the door again, the air around us seemed to shimmer slightly. Even though we still looked the same to me, I knew that everyone around us was seeing a group of Qualloth demons strolling down the street.  
  
"Keep your voices down," Aris whispered. "I can disguise our appearances, but I can't change our voices."  
  
"Got it," Cordy whispered. "Let's just not talk, we'll just motion if we see something."  
  
We wandered along for what seemed like forever. I knew from personal experience how hard it is to track someone just by a sense that they were close. It always had taken me forever to find Darla in a crowd, when there were too many people around to track by scent. It was like trying to locate a specific fry in a McDonalds, simply by knowing how many grains of salt were on the particular fry that you were looking for. I did know that Connor was around here, somewhere. I could feel him.  
  
When someone loses a limb, sometimes they can still feel it. The hand won't unclench, even though it has been replaced by a hook. The knee is cramping, even though there's no leg to stand on. Phantom pains, they call it. That's what this was like, like I could reach out and touch something that had been severed from me. Connor was rapidly becoming an itch, an itch that I could almost, but not quite, scratch. It was an exciting feeling, though a slightly annoying one.  
  
We were near the old Expresso Pump, which was now serving heated blood and assorted other demon and human parts, judging by the smell. There was something moving in the back alley. I was suddenly curious, I asked Aris to stop for a moment so that I could check it out. I left the partial safety of Aris' vision shield, and when I looked back, all I saw was six Qualloth demons, watching me. Even though I knew that they were really my friends, it was still a little unnerving. Especially since Qualloth demons are closely related to Torture demons (the big, four armed things), and I don't think I even have to say how much those things scare me.  
  
I crept down the alley, holding a small broad sword that I'd had strapped to my back. There was a rattling sound coming from the garbage cans, and I could see a big black tail sticking out from among the trash. It looked like a dog. I lowered my sword a little.  
  
"I think it's just a dog," I quietly called to the others. Then the "dog" raised its huge head, and I realized my mistake too late. It was a Wolf demon. The purebred demon form of a werewolf. This was the type of creature that gave rise to entire packs of werewolves, simply by biting one human. It was pure black from head to tail, with protruding, saber-like teeth, and long sharp claws. But what really got your attention, and proved that this was no deformed dog, were the eyes. They were bright red, and they glowed with an eerie light, as if they were lit from inside. The Wolf demon curled its lip back and bared its saber fangs.  
  
I only had one thought.  
  
"Oh, shit."  
  
The Wolf sprang!  
  
I dodged to the side and grabbed its hind legs to keep it from attacking my friends. It whirled around and snapped at me, missing by mere inches. Only my vampire speed kept me from having my face rearranged. But this put me in a bad position, I was on my back. The Wolf leaped at me again, I rolled out of the way, but it managed to rake its claws across my arm as it flew past. I roared, going game face, and grabbed the Wolf by its neck and back, then I flung it headfirst into an alley wall. And I do mean "into"… its upper body went clean through the wall. It yelped on impact, but then was still.  
  
I walked over to it and checked for a pulse. There wasn't one. It was dead. On my way back to my friends, I retrieved my sword, which I had dropped during my fight with the Wolf.  
  
"Hey," Cordy whispered as I reentered the illusion Aris was still maintaining. "Are you alright? Let me see your arm."  
  
"Cordy," I said tolerantly. "I'm fine. It's only a scratch, and I heal fast, remember?"  
  
"Yeah, I remember. But that doesn't mean I have to like it."  
  
I grinned. Cordy always let's you know exactly how she feels, one way or another.  
  
We continued to roam the streets of this shadow version of Sunnydale. I was beginning to agree with Spike's assessment, at least in this universe, this was Sunnyhell.  
  
The constant red lighting and the heat made the illusion complete. Believe me, spending three hours walking around in a sealed illusion with four sweaty humans and one demon was not a good place to have a vampire's sense of smell. It ranked right up there with a locker room, or a gym.  
  
Not fun.  
  
And, as an added bonus, there seemed to be something wrong with the back of my pants. They were beginning to feel tight, worse than those leather ones that Angelus was so fond of. So I did what anyone in that position would do: I fidgeted. After about the fourth time I'd attempted to loosen my pants, Cordy must have noticed.  
  
"What's wrong, Angel," she joked. "Got a wedgie?"  
  
"Very funny. It's like my pants don't fit all of a sudden."  
  
"Did you feed too much before we left?"  
  
"No. And vampires don't gain and lose weight that easily."  
  
"Lucky them. So what's wrong?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"What's going on back there?" Wesley whispered.  
  
"Good question," I muttered, fiddling with my pants for a fifth time.  
  
"Angel's pants are suddenly too tight in the hindquarters," Cordy provided, playfully swatting my butt. I half growled, just so she wouldn't notice that I really hadn't minded.  
  
"Well, you can't walk very fast if you keep fidgeting like that," Wes said. "Aris, could we stop for a moment? Angel seems to be having a... um... personal problem."  
  
"Of course," Aris answered. "There is an alley over there. It seems private enough."  
  
"Ow," I said. Now my lower back was hurting, like I had a bad cramp in my spine. "Thanks, Aris."  
  
I walked into the alley after we were out of sight of the street and ducked behind a dumpster.  
  
I unbuckled my belt and slowly slid my pants down my legs. The pressure on my back was released, but not all the way. I was beginning to have a decidedly bad feeling as I reached around behind myself and felt a very strange lump. Working on an instinct, I tore a small hole in the back of my boxers. Instantly, all of the pain and pressure was relieved. And, I felt a new part of my anatomy swaying behind me. I looked over my shoulder and couldn't believe what I saw.  
  
I picked up my pants and tore a corresponding hole in the back seam, then I slipped them back on, making sure that my new appendage was through the hole. Then I called for Cordy.  
  
"What is it, Angel?" she said, peeking around the dumpster.  
  
"Uh, Cordy? Can I ask you to do something?"  
  
"That depends. What's the something?"  
  
"Well, I'm going to turn around, and you're going to tell me if you notice anything different about me, okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
I slowly turned until my back was to her.  
  
"See anything?" I asked.  
  
"Um, Angel?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You have a tail."  
  
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TBC.....  
  
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Author's Note: HA! Bet none of you expected that, huh? Review, and you'll get to see where this is going next.... 


	12. GRR... Literally

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Chapter 11  
  
'GRR'… Literally  
  
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Do you realize how hard it was not to laugh when he turned around? Well, for me that was quite a feat. Sticking out from a tear in his black slacks, Angel had suddenly grown a long, fluffy white tail with black stripes. All my years in Sunndydale, and the three years I've spent with Angel in L.A., I had seen some stuff that would've had me thrown in the insane asylum for sure.  
  
But this -- this was definitely an all-new weird for me.  
  
"What's goin' on back there you two?" Gunn's loud voice broke my gaze from Angel's ass—I mean tail. Meant to say tail.  
  
"Uh, um… Nothing! Just – hold on a sec, guys." I called back.  
  
Angel turned around, his face showing his concern, and well, complete bafflement. "This can't be good. Cordy?"  
  
I snapped myself back upright, not realizing that when he turned around, I tried to keep my eye on his tail by bending over. "Huh? What? I wasn't doing anything." Suddenly I felt my cheeks flush. I was just checking out my man's ass.  
  
Heh.  
  
He's my man. And I was checking out his butt. I grinned to myself.  
  
My man has a tail… Slowly, the grin slid right off my face.  
  
What if he can't get rid of it? What if the fur spreads? I mean, normal male body hair is one thing, but being covered in *fur* is another story. Then again, he'll be nice and warm on those long, cold, winter nights…  
  
"You were checking out my ass weren't you?" I managed to fight down my embarrassment and look Angel in the eye, only to find him smiling at me… Seductively. Did he just waggle his eyebrows at me?  
  
"NO! I mean, no. I was just, checking out your, you know… Tail. Please, like I'd be checking out your ass. Pfft!" I waved him off, and flipped my hair off my face. "Besides, not like I haven't seen it before."  
  
Trying way too hard to play it cool. Since when have I *ever* been the dorky one? I need to get a serious grip.  
  
"Oh really? So you admit to checking me out then?" Again with the grinning. Except this time, Angel was being smug! Damn him.  
  
"Don't get so full of yourself."  
  
"Are you two done back he—" Aris rounded the dumpster and stopped dead in her tracks. "Oh my."  
  
"Yeah, and Angel complains about *my* accessorizing." I turned back to Angel, smug smile firmly planted on *my* face this time. "Didn't anyone tell you fur was *so* last season?"  
  
"Shut up." Angel half-heartedly tossed me a growl, but he was still smiling.  
  
"This is new. You didn't have this before, did you?" Aris grabbed his shoulders and turned him around, staring at his tail. I probably should've been jealous that another woman had her face so close to his backside, but I was too busy trying not to laugh that it didn't really matter.  
  
"No. I—" Angel started to explain, but stopped as the rest of the group rounded the dumpster.  
  
Small gasps and snickers all around.  
  
"Angel? Where did you get that?" Fred giggled, pointing at the tail, swishing from side to side.  
  
"Yeah. You sure it ain't got rabies, man?" Gunn chuckled, then quickly put a hand to his mouth to stop the laughter as Angel shot him the look of death.  
  
"It's not funny." He pouted.  
  
That was it, finally we all couldn't keep it in any longer, and everyone doubled over in laughter. I had tears running down my cheeks from laughing so hard, and I could see Groo clutching at his sides. Lorne had to lean up against the brick wall to keep from falling over, and Fred and Gunn were holding on to each other, trying to keep their balance.  
  
Finally we got ourselves together, only a few post-hysterical-laughter hiccups remained.  
  
"Well then. Angel." Wesley coughed into his hand, trying to keep from laughing again. "This is quite extraordinary."  
  
Angel practically had steam coming out of his ears he was so mad, and I could tell he was struggling to keep his cool. Poor vamp can dish it out but he can't take it. "It must've been from the Wolf demon. He scratched me before I put him through the wall."  
  
"That certainly isn't good." Wes rubbed at his bandaged neck. The laughing- fit probably irritated his wound.  
  
"Are you talking Wolf, like werewolf? Big, overgrown ball of stinky fluff that comes around every full moon?" Gunn looked to Wes. It was the first time he'd talked to him since Wes came back. I smiled and shared a knowing glance with Fred. At least we were making progress.  
  
"Yes and no."  
  
"A Wolf demon is purebred. Werewolves are half-breeds. Human and wolf. These things are ALL wolf, and ALL deadly. Though not too bright." Aris leaned up against the wall, arms crossed over her chest.  
  
"So what does that mean for Angel?" I asked. Not liking the sound of having a wolf/vampire/man boyfriend. I can't even potty train a regular 'ol puppy!  
  
Wesley was about to open his mouth, but Aris continued, her clear-blue eyes dancing between me and Angel. "A human would turn faster than if it were bitten by a half-breed, and wouldn't be limited to full moons."  
  
"Oh really?" Wesley looked at her, a bit of a challenge in his voice, and took off his glasses to clean them on his sweater.  
  
"Wolf blood is potent. A normal human would turn fully, I would say within the next few hours. Maybe longer, in his case because he's *not* fully human." Aris shrugged nonchalantly.  
  
Well, it's nice to know she's all 'Emotionally Detached Girl'… 'cause it's not like it's *her* man that's turning into a dog! Wolf. Whatever. Same diff.  
  
"Uh, hello? *Turn*? Why am I not liking the sound of that?" Angel glanced at me for back-up. I raised my eyebrows and shrugged.  
  
"Well if I had more books here, I might be able to find something to help you. But I only brought what we'd need for the trip. I didn't count on this setback. I'm sorry, Angel." Wesley sighed, putting his glasses back on his face.  
  
"Ok, well. This is great and all kiddies, but we've gotta get a move-on. The little chipmunk's a-waitin'." Lorne gestured in the direction of the street.  
  
"Krevlornswath is correct. We must find your child immediately and return home. Then we shall deal with, that." Groo gestured to Angel's tail with his hand.  
  
"For once gladiator-boy has a point. Let's just find Connor and get the hell outta Dodge." Gunn took Fred's hand and moved out from behind the dumpster, Lorne, Wes and Groo following suit.  
  
"Don't worry, Angel. We'll keep you from going all 'grr'… Literally." I smiled, stepping up to him and wrapping my arms around his waist.  
  
He sighed wearily, I guess the novelty of his tail is wearing off already. "Thanks." He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in closer and I snuggled my face into his chest, taking in his scent. He smelled like fabric softener and… Is that Old Spice?  
  
I felt him kiss the top of my head gently before he pulled away, and I whined in protest. Couldn't we just stay like that forever? No, baby to save. Bad guys to destroy. I'll cuddle with my oversized Chia Pet later.  
  
Aris smiled and nodded at me approvingly when we started walking again. She gently tugged on my sleeve, urging me to fall back a few steps from Angel, who kept walking.  
  
"Doyle wanted me to tell you something."  
  
I stumbled a bit when she said his name, catching up to her quickly.  
  
"Doyle? Really? What?"  
  
"He said to tell you that it was about time, Princess." She threw me a sideways glance, smiling at me again, that same knowing smile.  
  
"About time? For what? Oh. You mean him." I pointed to Angel, who'd caught up with the rest of the group a few feet in front of us.  
  
"He said you are damn frustrating, and thick as a brick wall when it comes to love. Something about him knowing from personal experience."  
  
I stopped dead in my tracks at that.  
  
I've always hated myself for what I put Doyle through. Every day I wished that it had been different, that I'd noticed before I did that I could love him. But that old me was too wrapped up in myself to care, let alone notice.  
  
I didn't realize I'd started crying until I felt Aris' soft hands on my face, brushing my tears away. "Don't cry little one. He doesn't want you to cry for him anymore. He loves you, and he loves Angel as well. That is why he sends his blessing for you. He says you need each other, and wishes you both would have seen it sooner."  
  
Gotta hand it to her, she's quite the pick-me-up type. She kissed my forehead before leaning back to look at me. I smiled. I don't think having Doyle himself here to tell me that could've made me feel any better than she did just relaying his message.  
  
"Thank you." I whispered. I wiped away my stray tears and we started walking together back to the waiting group. Now I was bound and determined to get Connor back home, so me and Angel could resume our not-so-normal, normal lives together.  
  
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"Do you feel that?" Aris whispered in my ear softly. We had been walking down Main St., just turned onto Park Ave., when I suddenly felt something overwhelm me. I nodded in the affirmative. "We are close then, just keep your heart open to him. He'll call to you and Angel."  
  
"Call?" I look at her, perplexed. "He's just a baby, how can he talk?"  
  
"All children can talk. You just have to want to listen, from inside here…" She brought her hand up to her chest, over her heart.  
  
"Oh." I don't know what to say to that, so I just keep walking. Pretty soon I'm lost in my own thoughts again, not really paying attention to anyone. Thinking about Doyle. Missing Doyle. Thinking about Angel. Missing Connor.  
  
I've been doing a lot of thinking and missing lately…  
  
So wrapped up in my own thoughts, I don't see everyone stop in front of me and I plow right into the back of Lorne. "Hey, watch it there, peanut brittle." Lorne turns around and smiles at me.  
  
I toss an apologetic smile his way, before moving around him to see what all the commotion is. I take a look around, and we're… in a neighborhood. Looks pretty damn familiar too. Come to think of it the house that we're standing in front of looks pretty damn familiar… Except for the tagging, boarded up windows, and garbage all over what once was a lawn. Now it's just weeds and dead grass. The windows that aren't boarded up, are smashed in, and the paint is peeling right off.  
  
I bet this used to be real nice diggs for whoever lived here.  
  
I look down the street at the sign…  
  
R E V E L L O D R I V E  
  
I look back at the house and read the house number.  
  
1 6 3 0  
  
Why is that so familiar? I furrow my brow, trying to think, trying to remember, where I know this house from. I look at Angel, standing on the sidewalk right in front of the old, boarded up house. The expression on his face makes it all fall into place.  
  
"Buffy…" I whisper, almost inaudible, in complete disbelief. The word seems to affect him, because I see him flinch. I look back at Wesley, who's completely still. He catches my eyes for a brief second before dropping them to the ground.  
  
"Why are we here?" Fred's voice is a little shaky as she speaks from under Gunn's arm. She must be a little freaked, oh who am I kidding? She's probably A LOT freaked. Let's assess the situation shall we. Angel looks like he's about to faint, Wes can't bother to meet anyone's eyes, and I'm… I don't know what I am. Shocked? Sad? Scared?  
  
The one thought that keeps banging at my brain is that obviously there's no Buffy. My vision was right. She's gone. No more Resurrect-o Buffy, her nine lives are up. A full realization smacks me right in the forehead and I can feel the tears start to burn in my eyes. Just knowing there's no Buffy in this world, just look at it!  
  
I mean, I wasn't her biggest fan or anything, but she was Buffy. She saved the world. A lot. But not this time.  
  
Aris steps up next to Angel, and places a soft hand on his shoulder and squeezes. "It makes it real, does it not? She is no longer in this world."  
  
Angel closes his eyes tight, taking in a deep breath and shakes off whatever thoughts he had. I see the resolution in his eyes as he turns back to us. "Come on."  
  
That's all he says as he turns back to the house, taking long, purposeful strides up the walkway, and we diligent employees follow right after him.  
  
Aris walks next to me, and she squeezes my hand for reassurance.  
  
Angel stops in front of the boarded up door long enough to take a look up and down the street, before ripping the 2x4's off one by one. We all stand back as he silently continues, every once in a while I cringe at the squeal of the nails being ripped from the wood.  
  
After he's taken all the pieces off, he just as quickly kicks the door in. As I step inside I start to cough at the stale air.  
  
"It must have been abandoned for years." Groo steps through the doorway, into the livingroom and glances at all the broken furniture. The couch has been torn to shreds, glass all over the floor, mixed with garbage and what I guess is the remains of small fires from various homeless people, or demons.  
  
"Who's place is this, Cordy?" Gunn says, turning back to look at me in the entryway.  
  
"It was Buffy's." I say quietly, before shaking him off and turning to my right, into the diningroom. I remember the time I was here with Xander. Got trapped in the basement from that Bee Guy.  
  
I remember hating him so much when we got outside and he took a hose to me. But he saved my life that day. Just like Buffy did, so many times.  
  
I start to sift through the garbage, not really knowing what I'm looking for, but just needing something to occupy my brain.  
  
"Everyone stop moving!" I hear Angel yell from the kitchen. I stop dead in my tracks as he comes flying through the door that attaches to the kitchen.  
  
I look at him like he's crazy, and as he passes me, he throws over his shoulder, "I hear something upstairs."  
  
"Connor?" I say, taking off in a run, following him up the wooden steps. "Connor!" I yell a little louder. I'm stomping up the stairs as fast as I can, and I hear the creak of wood halfway to the top, before the step gives out on me.  
  
I yelp in pain as my leg sinks through the huge hole, and I feel flesh tearing, a searing heat spreads through my leg, and I can barely cry out. "Angel!"  
  
"Oh dear lord." I hear Wesley behind me, I hear his footsteps on the stairs, and I can feel the wood begin to shift again.  
  
"Don't!" I cry out over my shoulder. "The wood! It can't hold!" I look frantically behind me to make sure he heard me, and he did. Wesley backs slowly and carefully down the few stairs he ascended.  
  
"Are you alright Cordelia?" Lorne's voice comes back to me as I'm trying to get my leg out. Every time I try to move, the pain shoots through my entire body, and I whimper in pain.  
  
"Angel!" I cry out again. Where is he? My arms are starting to get tired from holding my own weight to keep myself from falling further into the hole. My left leg is twisted behind me, half caught in the hole and my ankle is caught on the remains of the step. Besides my arms, my foot is the only thing keeping me from falling farther through.  
  
Why am *I* always the one that's falling through stairs? Guess it could be worse, I could have a nice chunk of metal through my stomach right now…  
  
"Are you hurt, Princess?" Groo steps up behind Wesley, and I see the rest of the gang pile into the hallway from various rooms.  
  
"No, I'm crying out in pain because I'm having the time of my life." I shoot at him, before turning back to look up the stairs. I can feel the blood soaking through my jeans now.  
  
"What happened?" I hear Aris' voice behind me and I sigh in relief. She'll know what to do. I hope. "Oh, my..."  
  
I turn back to her, and see her start up the steps. "No! It can't hold you!" I yell at her, but she just puts a finger to her mouth, telling me to be quiet.  
  
She presses her body as tight against the wall as she can, and it seems like she's only taking a step every minute. I can still feel the wood shifting under me, and my heart is hammering in my chest. She finally reaches me, and when I think she's about to pull me out, she steps right over my head to the next step.  
  
"Don't step there…" I whisper urgently to her. "Go to the next one. It won't hold you." I hold my breath as she slowly removes her booted foot from the weak step, places it on the one above, and hefts herself up. She takes the last steps up onto the landing before turning back to me, and holds her hand out.  
  
"Come on, you can do it." She whispers to me.  
  
I look at her hand, then down at my leg, hoping that if I fall, the ground's only a few feet below me. But then again, if the floor falls through also, I'll probably be under a pile of heavy wood.  
  
So I reach up and take her hand. She starts to pull backward and I push myself up and out, crying out at the pain that's stabbing at my right leg. I'm finally at a point where I can stretch out my left leg, and use it to push myself forward. Aris keeps pulling at me, urging me to give her my other hand, so I do.  
  
Finally after what feels like forever, we're able to get me out of the hole, and Aris pulls me up to her on the landing. I collapse my weight against her, and we both fall onto the floor. The pain in my leg is so bad, I'm panting now, and she rolls me onto my back to check the damage.  
  
I manage to pull myself up against the wall, making sure to avoid the glass on the burnt carpeting, and she looks at my leg.  
  
"Ouch. That must not feel good." She looks up at me, and smiles. All I can afford is an eyeroll, too much pain to talk. "At least the cut isn't very deep."  
  
"Yeah, well it's deep enough to hurt." I whine at her, as I look at my leg. There's a long gash down the front of my thigh, and my jeans are ripped open. She's right though, I've seen worse. I've seen worse on a vampire with remarkable heal-y powers. But this is little 'ol human me we're talking about. No magical healing powers for this little mammal… Damnit.  
  
"I'm gonna try and find a towel. Don't go anywhere." She smiles at me, before getting up.  
  
"Oh, ha ha. You're funny for being British." I smile up at her, and she laughs before disappearing through a doorway.  
  
"Cordy? You okay up there, girl?"  
  
"Yeah, Gunn. I'm fine! Aris is gonna patch me up!" I yell back down at him.  
  
"Where's boss-man?"  
  
I immediately cringe at that. Well, 'boss-man' used to be Wesley, and in that case, he's standing right next to you. But… I guess he's not anymore.  
  
"I don't know!" I sigh, and let my head fall back against the wall and close my eyes. I don't even hear Aris come back, but I feel her start to wrap something around my leg so I open my eyes again.  
  
"What is that?" I ask her, pointing at the floral-print fabric she's wrapping around my thigh.  
  
"It was from the bed. I couldn't find anything else, so I ripped it off." She shrugs.  
  
"I hope I don't get some disease from that, cause it sure doesn't look sterile." I snort at her, and wince as she pulls it tight around my leg. "Ow. You did that on purpose!"  
  
"That's what you get for questioning my triage skills." She smiles at me and stands, offering her hand, which I take.  
  
"You know, for being a higher-- uh, being-- you sure have quite the witty personality."  
  
"I take lots of notes from you humans. Never know when you'll get into a bitching contest with the locals." She wraps her arm around my waist, and I hold onto her, limping my way down the hall to search for our missing vampire warrior.  
  
"I hear something. In there." Aris stops and points to a closed door on the right. I shrug her off, and limp my way to the door, turning the knob and letting it fall open. If memory serves me correctly, this is Buffy's room… Was, Buffy's room.  
  
The whole room is bathed in dark shadows, the windows in here are still boarded up tight, not even a sliver of red sunlight can get through. I see something move in the gloom, in the back, and I immediately grab for the stake in my back pocket, bringing it up to the ready.  
  
"Hello?" I call, stepping forward into the room, Aris right on my heels.  
  
"Cordy?" It's Angel's voice, and I sigh in relief, dropping the stake to my side. I feel Aris fumbling around on the wall behind me, and I look to see what she's doing.  
  
I hear the click, and the room is immediately lit. Sort of. It's coming from a lamp that was knocked over in the corner of the room, on the other side of the shredded bed, so it only lights up a small area. But it's enough light to be able to see Angel's dark form sitting on the side of the bed.  
  
Holding something. Holding… "Connor?" Sheer disbelief comes out in my voice, and Angel nods, but he won't look at me. His entire face is hidden from me, but I don't notice that as I lurch forward, forgetting about my leg, and dropping down on my knees in front of him, and I let the stake roll off my fingertips.  
  
And there he is, bundled up in his little blue blanket, staring up at his father, giggling. I sob with joy and my tears make my vision all blurry as I reach my hands up to Angel's face. "I knew we'd find him!"  
  
I lean up to kiss him, but he pulls away, turning his head, and he holds his hands out to me to take Connor.  
  
"Angel, what's wrong?" I ask him, worried, as I take Connor into my arms. I'm so worried I can't even relish in the feelings of joy I should be experiencing right now.  
  
"Just take him. Go." He says quietly.  
  
"Angel, you are scaring us. What's wrong?" Aris asks. I see her walking forward out of the corner of my eye, but I can't tear my attention away from Angel. She starts to move behind the bed, toward the lamp.  
  
"Please? Just go. I'll… I'll be out in a minute."  
  
"No, Angel. I'm not leaving you. What's wrong?" I press him. I still can't see his face, so I reach one hand out to touch him, but I feel something swipe my hand away. Not quite a hand, but… furrier?  
  
Aris bends down to the lamp and picks it up off the floor, immediately the entire room is flooded with yellow light, and I almost gasp at what I see.  
  
"Angel, your hands?" I furrow my brow, wondering what happened to him, and then it clicks. "The change." I breathe out.  
  
"I don't want you to see me like this." He says, holding out his hands, looking at them. They still have their human shape, but they're longer, and covered in fur, and I can see the beginnings of claws.  
  
"Oh, Angel. We'll fix it. Don't worry sweetie." I sit down next to him, sliding my free hand down his face, urging him to look at me. He does, and his eyes are filled with worry.  
  
"What if we can't? I can't be like this forever." I see the tears shining in his eyes, and his voice cracks under the pressure.  
  
"We'll fix it." I say resolutely. And we will… That's my promise to him, we'll make everything okay when we get home. I smile timidly at him, before sliding my hand around the back of his neck and pulling him to me.  
  
He's a little surprised when our lips connect, a little apprehensive, but I can feel all that slipping away. Slowly, I melt into him, lost in the kiss, our lips dancing against each other. It's the first time I've kissed him like this, and it feels so right. So natural, like my lips have been waiting my whole life to find his, and now I'm home in him.  
  
I wrap my arm around his neck, and I can feel something shifting on the side of his face. His ears. They're elongating.  
  
He tries to pull away when he feels it, but I won't let him. He has to know he can't be ashamed of what's happening. I love him no matter what. So, he gives in, and wraps one arm around my waist, the other drifting to find my other hand holding Connor. I break the kiss to breath, and he lowers his forehead to mine, keeping our faces close. I hear Connor giggle, and we both look down at him and smile.  
  
"Well. Isn't this cute."  
  
A voice breaks us away from each other, and I hear Aris gasp behind us. I immediately turn to the doorway to see it—a grossly disfigured face, tall, very dangerous looking, demon.  
  
"Sahjhan." Angel growls behind me and shoots up from the bed, and in front of me and Connor.  
  
Connor starts to wail, and I stand up behind Angel, trying to calm his cries.  
  
"Thanks for finding him for me. You know, you always make my job so much easier." I peak my head out from behind Angel and see—Sahjhan? Is that his name?—smirk at himself. I guess he thinks he's funny.  
  
"You won't touch that child!" I hear Aris scream, seconds before lunging for him across the room, and I gasp out loud.  
  
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To Be Continued…  
  
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	13. Dog Day Afternoon, and Evening

Disclaimer, Summary, ect.: See chapter 1...  
  
Author's Note: Ok, what happened to everybody? We have like no new reviews. And we're so close to finishing this, too. Come on, people. I know we're not doing what happened on the show, but give us some credit! We started this like two days after Sleep Tight, when nobody knew what would happen! We're doing the best we can to stick to the original way we planned this story. And don't know about any of you, but I really like this story. Oh well, the show must go on, *grumbles* even if the audience is being stubborn. Just kidding.  
  
This Chapter Written By: Tigerwolf  
  
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Chapter 12  
  
Dog Day Afternoon, And Evening  
  
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Aris attacked Sahjhan, but only managed to go clean through him.  
  
"What are you, stupid?" Sahjhan asked the flustered Aris with a laugh. "I'm immaterial." There were low growls from behind him and a couple of HUGE demons loomed up out of the darkness at the top of the stairs. "However," Sahjhan said. "THEY are not."  
  
While this was going on, I was feeling decidedly weird. Well, weirder than usual. I glanced down at my hands, which a moment ago had resembled fur gloves, now they were true paws. Claws and all. I also felt an itchiness spread over me, the sensation of fur growing. The change had sped up. But, right now, I welcomed it. I wanted to feel the Wolf's strength, it's total fearlessness. I started to take a step toward the demons that had attacked Aris, but I had a little set back. My knees suddenly reversed direction, causing me to fall onto all fours. At the same time, my shirt ripped, because the rippling muscles that were a part of the Wolf demon were bigger than my usual chest size. The lower legs of my pants were splitting at the seams as the huge, tiger-sized hind legs pushed their way out of my normal human legs. I was basically doing an "Incredible Hulk" impression, without the green.  
  
A swipe of my long tail knocked over the lamp that Aris had set up a moment before. Thankfully, Sahjhan's attention was focused on the fight between his hulking demons and Aris, so he hadn't noticed my change of body plans. Connor had stopped crying, maybe it was the shock of seeing his father turning into a wolf that did it, or maybe Cordy's quiet cooing had worked for once. I decided to give my new and improved musculature a test. I crouched and let out a combination roar/howl that basically froze everyone in their tracks, even the demons and Aris stopped and looked for the source of the sound.  
  
"What the...?", Sahjhan said, catching sight of me for the first time. "Whose dog?"  
  
I curled my furry lip back and bared the three-inch fangs that fit perfectly in my new snout. "Grrrrrrrrr," I said. Then I realized that I should probably try to talk. "I'm not a dog, Sahjhan," I said, a little surprised to hear my normal voice coming from the wolf's snout. I guess I thought I would sound like Scooby-Doo, or Astro on the Jetsons... Ok, I have got to stop watching Cartoon Network when I can't sleep.  
  
Sahjhan did a double take. "Whoa, talk about your quick change artist."  
  
I decided that the time for talking was over, and I roared again and leaped over Sahjhan's head (immaterial or not, I swear he ducked) and tackled one of the demons that Aris was fighting. "Need some help?" I barked as I ripped into the demon with my razor-sharp claws.  
  
Aris had quite a few cuts and bruises, but she still managed to smile at me as she pinned the other demon. "Good boy. Sic 'em."  
  
"Very funny. But I'll do it anyway." I sank my fangs into the struggling demon and was shocked to feel a more familiar set of instincts take over. Apparently, my new Wolf side hadn't suppressed my vampire side, in fact, they seemed to be working together. I was totally caught off guard when the fangs lengthened to saber-toothed tiger length. Great, now I was a saber-toothed vampire/werewolf. What else could go wrong?  
  
The demon shook me off with difficulty and stumbled backwards onto the stairs. I leaped after him, realizing my mistake too late. I now weighed considerably more than I had before. Add that to the demon's bulk, and it was more than those old stairs could handle. The stairs collapsed, taking me and the demon with them, but it didn't stop there. The floor under the stairs gave out as well, causing us to plummet twelve feet to the basement floor. Or we would have hit the floor, if the basement hadn't been full of knee deep cold water. And I did not even want to know what that was swimming in there. Will someone please remind me never to ask "what else could go wrong" again?  
  
I quickly finished off the demon, using my newly lengthened fangs to slash its throat, then I used its floating body as a springboard to leap back up out the hole that we'd made. The scene that greeted me was terrifying. All of my friends were locked in mortal combat with at least two demons, and Aris was doing her best to help, trying to keep the demons away from Cordy and Connor, who had apparently found another way down from the bedroom. Sahjhan was standing over in a corner, quietly observing, occasionally making sarcastic comments. More than anything, I wanted to rip him limb from limb, but I knew that was impossible, so I would have to content myself with kicking some demon ass.  
  
One of the demons punched Wesley in his throat, right where Justine had slit it. He went down hard, clutching at his bandaged neck. I roared and leaped up onto the demon's back, watching Wes's eyes widen in shock when he realized who I was. I ripped into the back of the demon's neck with my monster canines, easily severing its spinal cord and snapping it's beefy neck in one blow. I saw Gunn and Groo trying to keep two demons away from Fred, who had lost her dagger and was attempting to crawl into one of the kitchen cabinets to escape the demon's attack. Groo managed to behead one with a skillful swipe of his sword, but another one quickly took its place. They seemed to be coming out of nowhere! Then it hit me, Sahjhan. He must have been calling a new warrior every time we took out one of his. That's why he wasn't trying to take Connor, he had an unlimited supply of demons and patience. He knew that sooner or later, we would get tired and his demons would win. Then he could take Connor. I couldn't let that happen.  
  
I bound across the room and stopped in front of Sahjhan, growling loudly. "Call them off, Sahjhan."  
  
"Hmm, let me think about it for a moment... NO!", he laughed. "Why should I? You are no threat to me, even though you seem to have made a few changes." He looked me over. "It's a good look for you. I think I might even have you mounted in my den after all this is over."  
  
"Not funny," I growled. "You'll have to kill me first."  
  
"Oh, I think that could be arranged," he said gesturing behind me. I turned around, expecting to see another one of his big bodied, small- brained henchmen. What I saw, however, made me freeze in my tracks. Nine feet tall, four arms with various torture implements in each hand.  
  
A Torture demon.  
  
I nearly passed out, as I tried to scramble backwards. I went right through Sahjhan, he just laughed. "Something wrong, Angel?"  
  
I kept doing my best to run backwards, which isn't easy on four legs, and eventually slammed into a wall. The Torture demon walked toward me, cracking its whip ominously. Sparks flew from the end of its cattle prod. I franticly inched along the wall, looking for a doorway, a window, anything to get me away. This wasn't a hallucination, and I knew it. I could see it, I could smell it, and it was scaring the hell out of me. I tried to growl, but all that came out was a frightened whimper. Then the demon was on me.  
  
The first thing to hit was the cat 'o nine tails whip. Its sharp ends cut long furrows through my fur and skin, leaving bloody trails down my white fur. I howled in pain. Then the cattle prod, sending a powerful shock throughout my entire body, making me wish to die. The dagger sliced into my thigh, carving through the muscle like I was a piece of hamburger. Then the whip again. All of my pained howls seemed to blend into one. One long, pitiful cry of pain from a creature that had no hope of escape. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that my friends were losing the battle. Groo was down, I couldn't tell if he was breathing or not. Gunn was desperately trying to fend off a demon with one arm while the other hung at his side, dislocated at the shoulder. Wesley had managed to get over to Aris and was helping her to defend Cordy and Connor, but they were fighting a losing battle.  
  
I could barely see anything through the haze of pain that was clouding my mind, but my ears were working just fine. I heard a crash, and a familiar voice call out "Sahjhan!", followed by Sahjhan's yell of "No! Not now!!". Then, suddenly, everything was quiet. Even the Torture demon's triumphant laughter had stopped.  
  
I struggled to raise my head, but I was so tired, and I hurt so bad. Although a part of my brain did register that there didn't seem to be any new wounds.  
  
"Angel?" Cordy's voice. "Angel, open your eyes. Please."  
  
"Cordy?" I mumbled, opening one eye. "Are we dead?"  
  
"No, and you won't believe who we have to thank for that." She was sitting against the wall next to me, I managed (after a couple of failed tries) to get my head into her lap. She held me there and stroked me like a cat, although, at the moment, I suppose that "dog" would be a better choice of words. "Oh crap, you are really ripped up."  
  
"Tell me about it," I said, bringing a paw up and draping it over her leg. "So, who came to our rescue?"  
  
"He's over there, helping Gunn with his shoulder."  
  
I was feeling a little better, so I lifted my head and looked across the room into the kitchen. What I saw nearly made my jaw drop. Holtz was helping Gunn rotate his injured shoulder back into place. Holtz, the man that had taken my child in the first place. We wouldn't even have been there if it weren't for him!  
  
I started to growl, but then I realized something else. We also wouldn't be alive right now if it weren't for him. I sighed and rested my head back on Cordy's lap. It was only then that I noticed the hastily crafted bandage that was wrapped around her leg. "Uh, Cordy? Change of subject. What happened to your leg?"  
  
She glanced down at it, almost looking surprised to see it there. "Oh, this? I fell through the stairs. Aris helped me. Don't you want to know how Holtz saved us?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"He had some kind of urn, or jar thing that he used to trap Sahjhan's essence, or whatever. Apparently, his demons couldn't stay in this dimension without him, and they just sort of vanished."  
  
"That's good."  
  
"What about you? What was that thing?"  
  
I shuddered. "That was a Torture demon. I thought that they only existed in the main Hell dimension. I've seen them before."  
  
"How would you have seen them...." Realization dawned on her beautiful face, followed by sympathy. "Oh God. Angel, is that why you freaked out in the mansion before?"  
  
"Yeah, partially. Trust me, you don't want the details."  
  
She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. I purred. While we were like that, Aris came over. She had a slight limp, but otherwise seemed okay. What caught my attention was who she was carrying: Connor. He squealed and giggled as Aris handed him to Cordy. I raised my head and looked at him, acutely aware that I wouldn't be able to hold him until I was back to normal. I did the best I could, given the circumstances. I nuzzled him gently with my snout. He cooed and reached out, grabbing a small handful of the fur on my snout and yanking on it. "Ow! Hey, watch it, little guy."  
  
Cordy laughed. "A boy and his dog, I mean, his dad."  
  
"Ha, ha. Will you make him let go? This hurts!"  
  
Cordy tickled Connor's stomach playfully. He giggled and let go of my snout to attempt to grab Cordy's finger. Aris smiled down at us. "As heartwarming as this little scene is, your friend Holtz says that he knows where Acathla is in this world. He would like to lead us there, before it gets dark."  
  
I let out a half-hearted growl. "He's not my friend." I pushed myself up onto all fours with some difficulty. Most of the wounds that the Torture demon inflicted were still raw and bleeding, but it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle. I had my son back, everyone was alive, and we were going home. There was only a couple of things that could make this better. One, knowing that I would have my normal body back soon. And two, if I could kiss Cordy again. However, I knew that was next to impossible, what with me having a snout and all.  
  
We walked out the door and into the fading sourceless red light. Everyone except for Lorne and myself stayed in Aris' illusion of the Qualloth demons. Lorne would blend in on his own, and I really didn't think anyone would recognize me here. Not in my current body, anyway.  
  
"Psst," Lorne whispered. "Angel-ca.." He paused the familiar nickname when I curled a lip back and growled at him. "Angel," he started again. "Did you know that you don't look anything like that Wolf demon that scratched you?"  
  
"How so?"  
  
"Well, it was black, and you're white with black stripes. You actually look more like a white tiger than a wolf. Not to mention that tail."  
  
"What about my tail?"  
  
"It's long, not scrawny like that Wolf demon's. Actually, the only part of you that looks like the Wolf is your face. You have a wolf face, with tiger markings."  
  
"It's probably the vampire's effect on the Wolf demon infection. Anyway, it's good to know that I'm unique."  
  
"One of a kind," Lorne added with a grin.  
  
With that, we fell silent for awhile, just content to walk together. I trotted up into the illusion and fell into step beside Cordy and Aris. I felt someone staring at me and turned my head around to look over my shoulder. Holtz was walking right behind me. I made a point of hitting him with my tail a couple of times, until he got the point: I didn't like him behind me. He walked a little faster, bringing himself even with my side. I snorted at him and turned back around. Cordy had given Connor to Aris to hold, since her arms were getting tired. One of her hands dropped to her side and found the top of my head. She absently began scratching behind my ears, and I felt my mouth loll open and my tongue drop out. It was an automatic reaction, but I might have done it anyway. That did feel really good.  
  
About an hour of walking, and we had reached the old high school. It was in ruins, but it was actually in better shape than the one in our Sunnydale. Being in ruins versus being a crater. Holtz told Aris that this was it. This was where Acathla was. Aris had turned off the illusion when we'd left the heavily populated areas of town. The area around the school was totally deserted, so we didn't have to worry about any demons seeing us anymore.  
  
Holtz lead the way through the tomb-like corridors of the abandoned school, with us close behind. Eventually, we reached the old library. I remembered the first time that I'd been in that library, had it only been six years? It seemed like so long ago, another lifetime. Maybe it was.  
  
After Holtz told us that Acathla was somewhere in the library, we decided to split up and look for it again. It wouldn't be as hard this time, seeing as how the library was considerably smaller than the mansion. I was sniffing around the old books, and the others went into the stacks. Cordy walked over to the door to Giles' old office and jiggled the lock, then she yanked it open, popping some of the rotten doorjamb away with it. I glanced at her, she shrugged and walked into the office. A moment later, I heard her scream.  
  
I immediately bound across the library floor with one leap and was inside the office door. A small desk lamp lit the darkened interior, and I could see Cordy staring at the swivel chair, a hand over her mouth.  
  
"Cordy? What's wrong?"  
  
She didn't say any thing, only gently turned the chair around. What I saw then explained her reaction. A mostly decomposed skeleton sat in the chair, remnants of its clothing still visible and a pair of spectacles perched on its bony nasal opening. The skeleton itself wasn't what had made Cordy scream, it was the fact that she recognized the clothing. There was only one person that I'd ever known that wore tweed as a matter of course.  
  
The skeleton... was Giles.  
  
I saw Cordy's shoulders shaking as she cried silently for our friend. Somehow, it didn't help to know that in our dimension, Giles was safe and sound back in England. I walked the long way around the desk, avoiding the chair entirely. I walked over to Cordy and nuzzled her leg, then I gently took her hand in my mouth and lead her out of the office.  
  
I took her out to the stairs and released her hand. She sat down on the bottom step and once again put her arms around me. I did my best to hug her back, but dogs aren't built for hugging, no matter how big they are. I did have the urge to lick her face, but I decided against it. Not this early in our relationship, anyway... Joking. I think.  
  
After a moment, she pulled back and wiped her tears on her sleeve. "Sorry, I know it wasn't really Giles, but it surprised me. You know?"  
  
I gave her my best puppy dog smile, literally. "Yeah, I know." I wished that there was something I could do to cheer her up. Then I got an idea. I laid down at her feet and rolled over on my back.  
  
"What?" she asked, a playful tone entering her voice. "You want your belly rubbed?"  
  
"Well," I said with a wag of my tail. "I am a dog..."  
  
"A silly dog." She smiled, then she reached down and began rubbing the soft fur of my stomach. My tail whipped back and forth furiously and my tongue was lolling out again. After a moment, she switched to scratching my ribs. Immediately, my left hind leg started going all on it's own. Like it was attached to some sort of motor and the start button was my ribs. It felt like being tickled, which I don't normally like, but this... I don't know. This was fun, I liked it. It made me wonder what Cordy was thinking about all this, though.....  
  
  
  
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TBC...  
  
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Authors Note: Ok guys, this is it. One more chapter and an epilogue to go, then this epic will be done. I hope you all liked it. (Oh, and have you guessed that I made Angel turn into my penname? Tigerwolf. Heh, heh. I'm evil. I did a self insertion..) 


	14. Dia de los Muertos

Chapter Authored By: MissKitieFantastico  
  
A/N: Sorry for the long delay, but writers' block is a bitch.  
  
A/N2: I'm probably getting a little overzealous, but I'm labeling this chapter with an *R* rating for Cordy's potty-mouth, mild kinkiness, and implied slash. You've been warned. =)  
  
Enjoy!  
  
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Chapter Thirteen  
  
Dia De Los Muertos  
  
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Home.  
  
That's all that keeps running through my brain. It should be any time now, as soon as we find Acathla's head and perform the spell, I can be back in the hotel with my family. I can forget everything that's happened in the past couple weeks, and just go on with my life. We can put our family back together.  
  
I never thought I'd miss the smog and the grime in LA in my entire existence, but now I feel like I can't breathe without it.  
  
Totally insane, I know.  
  
But it was home. It was more 'home' than the town I grew up in. The town I thought I'd never go back to, but here I am. Granted, it's quite different, oh who the hell am I kidding?! It's the complete 'yang' to the 'yin' of the Sunnydale I remember, but it's still got a hint of that same old Sunnydale creepiness. Only here, in this world, the wiggins factor is amplified by about infinity. The creepiness isn't lurking in the shadows or waiting for sunset. Here it's an all-access pass to every child's nightmare, every demons wet dream…  
  
Ugh, that was a disgusting thought. I *so* need to get out of this place, I think it's warping my mind.  
  
That's it, no more thoughts for me today. Cordy's done with the brain- usage. So, I look to someone that requires no thought. Just feeling. Angel. Of course, he's changed a bit since I met him… Got a little shorter, a bit furrier, a lot more playful… and well, I guess I just hope he doesn't try to hump my leg.  
  
I smirk at that, and look down at him from my perch on the stairs. He's still sprawled out on the floor, belly up. Must be the dog in him making him so playful. Not that I mind really, playfulness that is, but it just doesn't suit him. He's supposed to be all lurky in the shadows, brood-a- thon champion.  
  
Instead, his tail is wagging.  
  
"Hey, Cordy?" Angel looks up at me, with those same chocolate brown eyes that I could totally drown in. Die a death of chocolate-y sweet goodness that would have my dentist rolling over in his grave. If he were dead, that is. Ah, who knows, maybe in this world he *is* dead. Everyone else seems to be.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What if…" Angel moves closer to me, still limping a bit from the leg wound. He can't seem to meet my gaze anymore, and already I'm missing those soulful eyes… But I know what he's getting at, what he's thinking about. No, not a mind reader here, but he's pretty obvious.  
  
"We can't figure out a way to turn you back?" I ask softly.  
  
"Yeah." He quietly responds, guilt and pain etched into his voice.  
  
"We will." I tell him in all honesty. I know it. I don't care if I have to track down every single disgusting mystical text for Wesley, we will turn him back. Either that or I buy him a leash and start shopping around for a second-hand Dog-loo.  
  
"I hope you're right." He sighs, and finally catches my eyes again. It's still weird hearing his voice coming from the ball of fluffy white fur, seeing his lips move. Something right out of Scooby-Doo.  
  
"Cordy?" Lorne's voice breaks our gaze, and immediately I shoot daggers with my eyes. Did I mention he has really bad timing?  
  
"Yeah, Lorne." I say, standing up, stretching my sore leg. The throbbing has dulled somewhat, now it's only minorly irritating.  
  
"I think we found it."  
  
Immediately, Angel takes off in a run in the direction Lorne just came from.  
  
"I'll keep an eye on the door while you manly men take care of the grunt work." I smile at him, and he tosses me a disgusted face.  
  
"Me? Grunt work? Uh, no. I facilitate." He smiles at me, before turning and heading back into the stacks.  
  
Now I feel all alone. Well, that may be because I *am* alone. Out here. By myself. No one to talk to. I turn to the stairs to call out for Fred to keep me company and to bring Connor, but I hear the Library door creak open.  
  
"Well, lookey here." I hear someone purr out, voice like sensual satin. I know that voice. Where do I know that voice?  
  
So I turn, and breathe out, "Xander…"  
  
He gives me a quizzical look, like he's trying to remember who I am. Geez, it's only been three years, not a lifetime! Oh, wait that's in my world. Oh, god. I wonder how long it's been here…  
  
I see the door swing open behind him, and a smaller figure steps out from behind his muscular, and slightly pale, body.  
  
"Cordelia." Willows purrs out.  
  
I find my voice, the shock finally wearing off. "Willow. Xander. Wow, I never thought I'd see you here!" I smile at my old friends, even if this is a different world, the feeling of seeing them after so long is just overwhelming.  
  
I start to move toward them, but I notice Willow's clothes. Something about them makes me stop dead in my tracks. Since when did Willow ever wear leather? More accurately, a leather bustiere? My gaze slides up and down her body, taking in the skin-tight leather pants and black stilettos…  
  
"Wow, Willow, you sure have changed… Nice choice of wardrobe." My voice is starting to shake. I remember those clothes, and I remember that look in her eyes. A predators eyes.  
  
"What can I say, Xander likes the kink factor." She turns to him, one set of slender fingers sliding up and down his chest, roving over the black silk shirt, the other set sliding down his front to knead at his leather- clad thigh. "Don't you, baby?"  
  
He turns to her, gaze dangerous and full of animalistic lust, "Oh yeah, baby." He turns in a motion almost too quick for me to catch, making me jump back a bit, and he forcefully pulls her body flush with his before licking a trail up her throat to her ear. Willow gasps in pleasure and grabs at his shirt before looking at me, that same dangerous lust in her eyes.  
  
"Wanna join, Cordy? You used to love this…" She giggles evilly. What did she mean by 'used to love this?'  
  
I must have that question planted on my forehead, because Xander laughs. "What? You don't remember? Me and Wills used to make you scream all night long." He takes a small step toward me, and I step back. Keeping a good portion of floor between us.  
  
"You really are a screamer, Cordy. Used to make me all hot and bothered too. You always loved to torture me… Wanna torture me now?" Willow cocks her head to the side, bottom lip protruding in a pout, eyes innocent. For a demon.  
  
Nonchalantly I reach for my back pocket, for my stake… that's no longer there. Fuck! I dropped it back at Buffy's. Ok, next tactic. "Will, as um, *inviting* as that sounds, I think I'll have to pass. I'm not quite the party-girl I used to be!" I try to laugh, but my voice is totally transparent. I'm scared shitless, weaponless, and the gang is nowhere in sight.  
  
Can my day get any worse? I curse to myself…  
  
"What a pity."  
  
I gasp out loud and stumble back against the stairs, landing on my ass, as I stare up at an all too familiar face.  
  
"Not much fun is she?" Angelus questions, turning to Willow, a solid smirk on his face as he beckons to her with his hand. Immediately she moves from Xander's grip, and folds herself into Angelus' arms. Immediately he dives for her mouth, consuming her, before yanking away in a motion that if she were human, would've broke her neck.  
  
She just moans in pleasure. "But you're fun, aren't you?" Angelus whispers seductively, tracing her lips with his index finger before she sucks it into her mouth, nodding her head.  
  
"Yeah, my Wills is quite the funbag." Xander moves up behind Willow, pressing his body flush against her back, rubbing his hands at her sides. She drops her head back against Xander's chest, moaning in obvious pleasure.  
  
I'm breathing so hard now, I can barely hear what they're saying to each other, and I think I'm gonna pass out. My head starts spinning and my vision starts to dim as I see Angelus disentangle himself from Xander and Willow. He slowly swaggers my way, black leather and hips moving in a seductive rhythm, taking his time.  
  
Teasing me.  
  
"I missed you, Cordy. A great kill was never the same without you there to lick the blood off my body. Boy do I miss that tongue." He stops just shy of me, gazing directly into my eyes, into my soul, and I feel it start to burn from the toxins in those endlessly evil brownish-black pools.  
  
I feel the tears start to well, as I realize just who—what—I was, in this world. I want to move, get away from him, run back to Angel, but I can't seem to get my body to work. He's got me pinned with his stare and I hate him for it. This thing, who is nothing like my love, has more control over me than Angel does.  
  
"That's right, Cordy. You were mine, once upon a time. Mine and Buffy's. You were that is, until you met a White Hat. They don't exist anymore, we killed them, and you can be mine again. Would you like that?" Angelus crouches down in front of me, reaching a hand out, running it up my leg.  
  
I can't get my voice to work, but I manage to shake my head furiously at him.  
  
"Oh. Too bad. I want you." He hisses at me, slowly slithering up my body, and I try to sink further into the stairs, my face contorting in disgust. "You're mine." He breathes out, his face millimeters from mine, and he nips the tip of my nose with his blunt teeth. I whimper in fear, and finally finding the muscles in my arms, I push at his chest.  
  
I faintly hear Willow giggling in the background, and I'm nanoseconds away from crying out, mouth open in a silent scream and Angelus plunges forward, his mouth swallowing any sound I would've made. I keep fighting at him, pushing, trying to kick, wiggle out from under him. Anything to get away!  
  
I feel his tongue in my mouth, and immediately I gag, feeling my stomach churn and spasm. I start to choke and he pulls back as I gasp for air. He slowly moves his cold, dead lips down my chin to my collarbone and he clamps his hand over my mouth before I can scream.  
  
That's when I hear it. A whizzing sound somewhere over my head, and I hear Willow scream out, "Oh! Fu—" at the same time as the sound of a vampire exploding into dust.  
  
Angelus raises his head from my chest, growling, full-on vamp face. I gasp from behind his hand as he looks up to see the attacker. In a flash, I see a boot fly right over my head into his face, knocking him backwards, off of me. Immediately, I scramble up the steps and feel strong hands pull me to a standing position on the landing.  
  
It's Gunn.  
  
"Oh, thank Go—" I start, but he pushes me out of the way, and screams for me to run, find Fred and the baby. Before I can move, I see Aris fly over the railing and tackle Angelus, who had pulled himself onto his knees. They both go rolling and slam against the check-out desk, splintering the rotten wood.  
  
I hear a loud, ferocious growl and see Xander lurch forward, his demon marring that beautiful boyish face. Gunn is distracted, trying to reload his crossbow, so I yell out his name, shoving him out of the way as Xander leaps into the air.  
  
I feel him hit my side, and all the air leaves my lungs as his dead weight lands right on top of me. I try to push away the dancing black stars in my vision as I struggle with him, yelping out in pain as his knee digs into my thigh, and I feel the wound ripping open again.  
  
"You bitch!" He growls, trying to get my arms above my head to pin me down.  
  
His hand comes within reach of my mouth, so I lash out, teeth bared and bite down as hard as I can. I feel flesh tear and he howls in pain, trying to pull away from my mouth. I ignore the taste of flesh and blood in my mouth and bite down harder. In a movement too quick for me to counter, he raises one leg up and slams it into my stomach and I immediately let go. He rolls off me as Gunn charges, and I curl into a ball, clutching at my stomach, trying to breathe and keep from throwing up at the same time.  
  
From my fetal position on the floor, I see Xander stand up clutching at his mangled hand, as Gun flies into the air to tackle him from behind. Xander whips around, bringing his leg up in a roundhouse, and I hear his boot connect with Gunn's skull. I hear Gunn's grunt as his momentum and Xander's kick sends him flying off to the side, and he lands in a heap against the base of a bookcase.  
  
My eyes start to water as I realize he's not getting up, but my attention is brought back to Xander as he spins around, refocusing on me.  
  
God, I've really gotta stop saying 'could this get any worse'… Now I've got the evil doppelganger version of my boyfriend trying to kill Connor's protector (and I didn't even get to revoke my 'no-bone' policy!) and my somewhat, quasi ex-boyfriend looking at me like filet mignon.  
  
"Aww, Cor. Don't be so sad! You're still my favorite! I was bored with Willow anyway…" He laughs, moving toward me with predator-like grace, and I feel my blood run colder than ice.  
  
"HEY! Dead-Boy!"  
  
My heart almost jumps into my throat with joy as I hear Angel's voice behind me, and I turn to see him strutting up next to me, growling.  
  
Xander stops dead in his tracks, completely confused. Just like old times, except for him being amongst the heartbeat-impaired group.  
  
He shakes off his confusion, probably chalking up a dog talking, to too- sensitive vamp hearing and spouts, "What's with the dog."  
  
Angel just growls while I slowly scoot away from Xander, then he takes a step forward, ignoring Angel.  
  
"If you wanna get to her, you gotta go through me first, Dead-Boy." Angel says, taking a small step forward, then adds, "Heh, always wanted to say that to you. Feels good, after all those times you said it to me."  
  
"What?" Xander looks confused again, his vamp face contorting in confusion, but he shakes it off, "Angelus?" he questions. Oh yeah, same old Xander, sharp as a ball.  
  
"Not quite!"  
  
This time Angel gets pissed, and growls, elongated teeth bared. I do a visible double-take when I see his teeth. My god are those things long—and…pointy! Yeesh, they certainly weren't like that before.  
  
Angel leaps into action. It must be the combination of his vamp-speed and his inner—outer—dog, because he launches himself at Xander faster than he can blink.  
  
Xander falls back, landing hard, and Angel is all over him. I stumble, frantically trying to get up, do something, find someone, as the rest of the gang comes charging out of the stacks. Immediately Fred hands Connor off to Lorne and rushes to Gunn, and I hear Aris cry out in pain.  
  
Everyone starts to draw their weapons, but Angelus bellows out, "STOP!"  
  
He's standing in the middle of the room, one hand around Aris' neck, the other around her waist, pinning her arms at her sides. She looks so beaten that I'm sure if he let her go she'd just crumple to the ground.  
  
"Angel!" I look frantically at him, and he pulls back from Xander, who scrambles up, bloodied and beaten. Immediately, Wes has Gunn's bow-thingy pointed at his heart, and Xander doesn't attempt any more movement. He lets the arrow fly anyway, and Xander explodes in a cloud of dust.  
  
"I'm not Angel you dumb bitch…" Angelus growls, completely ignoring the fact that Xander was just dusted. He smirks, nodding to the gang behind me, "Who's the parade of losers?"  
  
"None of your business, now let her go." I seethe through clenched teeth, the muscles all over my body contracting, anticipating whatever his next move is. My leg is throbbing and bleeding like crazy, but I push the dizzying pain out of my mind and focus on his face.  
  
"Yeah. Right. Let me do that." Angelus shoots back, deadpan. "She's too much fun. Quite the feisty piece of meat I've got right here…" He laughs through his fangs, squeezing Aris' neck tighter, eliciting a whimper from her.  
  
I tear my eyes away from Angelus, and focus on Aris. Her eyes are glazed over, and they keep rolling back in her head. Good lord, what did he do to her? I was so focussed on Xander, I didn't realize she was going at Angelus alone. Angelus! The immortal asshole that even Buffy her Royal Highness had a hard time beating.  
  
"I'll kill you."  
  
"Oh really, princess? I don't think so." Faster than I could blink, Angelus dives for Aris' neck and she cries out in pain…  
  
It only takes me a second to recover from my shock before I'm charging down the stairs at him, screaming lord knows what obscenities… everything starts to get all distorted. The only thing coming through clear is Angelus. He reacts, tossing her body off to the side and my body connects with his, and he stumbles back, managing to stay on his feet.  
  
I can't see anything now, blind rage fueling my body and I'm kicking, punching, grabbing at him, not even knowing what I'm doing but letting my instincts do all the work. I feel something connect with my side and tear, but I can't feel the pain, and I keep at him. The screams of Angel and Groo push into my brain and I know they're charging at us, but I want to kill Angelus. I *need* to kill him for what he did! I feel my nails dig into his face and he howls in pain. His hands grab at my arms and twist outward and I yell out in pain as he tosses me off of him. I go flying over the counter and land on a pile of books.  
  
I hear Angel growl, pure rage, and I know they're going at it.  
  
I try to get up but I can't. Now I feel it, I knew I'd regret doing that, but I had to do it. I feel myself falling out of consciousness before Fred's frantic voice breaks the silence in my brain.  
  
"Cordy! Cordy, please! Wake up!" Fred cries out over me. I struggle and finally manage to open my eyes, and I smile at her. Maybe it was more of a wince, probably both.  
  
"Oh thank god! You're bleeding all over the place! I can't believe you did that." She scolds me, holding her hand over my leg, trying to stop the bleeding. Which I actually think already *stopped* but it's just covered in blood.  
  
I start to sit up, and wince in pain at my side. Looking down, I see a tear in my sweater, but the wound is just a small gash. Nothing major, but damn it hurts like hell. "Damnit, I loved this sweater." I moan, as Fred helps me sit up.  
  
"Cordy. Are you alright?" Wes says, running up behind Fred, and kneels at my other side.  
  
"Yeah, Wes. I think so. He not such a tough cookie if a girl can kick his ass, huh?" I laugh, then get serious, looking him straight in the eye. "Did Angel kill him?"  
  
"Unfortunately, no." He says quietly, looking down at his hands.  
  
"NO?! Whadda ya mean, 'NO'!" I scream at him.  
  
"Holtz did. About a millisecond before Angel was about to." Wes looks up, smiling at me.  
  
"Funny. You should do stand-up, you know that?" I glare at him, accepting Fred's hand in helping me stand.  
  
I survey the damage, everyone's still alive and kicking. That's a good thing. I see Angel, in the middle of the library, looking at the floor.  
  
I shake Fred off, and tell her to help Wes finish the ritual while I get Angel. I limp over to him, placing a hand on the top of his head, slowly smoothing down the white hair.  
  
"She's gone…" He says quietly, keeping his eyes on the concrete flooring.  
  
"I know." I whisper back, willing my tears back to wherever they come from.  
  
"No, she's really gone. As in not here. No body. Poof." Lorne says, strutting up next to us.  
  
"I saw it. She actually did the little 'poof' thing. But more like a shimmery-vanish-poof than a vamp-poof." Lorne rushes.  
  
"Is this you being comforting? 'Cause you're almost as stammery as Broody Boy over here…" I nod at Angel, and attempt a smile.  
  
She wasn't human, we knew that. But it still hurts that she's gone. I loved her fashion sense.  
  
"We gotta go." Angel says quietly, walking off to join the others.  
  
"Good work, Sugar Lips. You fight like a girl, but at least you put power behind your claws." Lorne smiles, wrapping an arm around my waist and helping me up the stairs.  
  
"They didn't call me Queen C for nuthin'." I smile back, letting him lead the way home.  
  
==++==++==++==  
  
The End.  
  
But! We've got an Epilogue on the way, so don't go anywhere just yet.  
  
==++==++==++==  
  
Last Note: Y'know that crazy thing called FEEDBACK? I'd like some… You know me, Feedback-Slut. Don't make me beg! Oh alright, I'll beg… P L E A S E ! Pretty, pretty please with Naked!Angel on top? I want to know what you think!  
  
There, I begged. Now go and REVIEW!!! 


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